(Just FYI to everyone, my previous post was in response to Jean's
comment.)

TxGal:

I don't think repeated cheating shows remorse, so I don't think you did
anything wrong. You were betrayed, and I don't think you should
probably have forgiven him. (I don't blindly forgive people if they
haven't earned it.) But, if you are on good terms with him and you've
both moved past it, it probably worked to for the best. I just hate to
see anyone break up if there's something worth salvaging.

And infidelity is often a way out for people — a clear indication that
the relationship is failing. In those cases, there probably isn't
anything left to rebuild. That may have been the case for you, and if
so I'm sorry.

I'm certainly not passing judgement here. If a relationship ended due
to infidelity, I can't comment on your situation. I'm just offering my
perspective about how often I've seen people make mistakes (not just
sexual infidelity, mind you), and how working through those problems can
lead to a good (sometimes stronger) relationship.

Sorry, Res..still got to disagree with you. One infidelity, perhaps. An
"occasional" infidelity, not just no, but H-E-L-L no. If you're not able
to keep it in your pants, it's time to move on. If you want to screw
around, fine, screw around, but do it as a single person. That's how I
feel about it. I'd never make a commitment to a person who couldn't be
equally committed to me.

Jean:

"Occasional" wasn't to be taken quite so literally. I meant it in the
way of "infrequent" but possibly more than once. If I were in a serious
relationship and on three separate occasions we hit a real rough patch,
and my partner cheated on me during those times, I don't consider that
the same as if she goes out every Tuesday night and screws her boss.
Certainly, it would be better if nobody every cheated — I'm all for
fidelity and maintaining the trust between two people — but I also try
to be understanding. If a situation can't be fixed, however, then it
can't be fixed and both people should move on. I definitely don't
advocate staying in a bad relationship.

The question of cheating is one that we will never understand. I mean
when we were on high school and young and foolish, that was different.
I was with my ex 10 years and she cheated on me 2 times that I know of,
the first one I approached her, she would tell me its not what I think
it is??? The second time she was well prepared and had me thrown out of
my home and moved the cheater she was with in 2 days after I was out.
So I dont think cheaters ever change, they do become better liars thats
for sure...

I am so glad I am free from the cheating world

loveu how do you will remain from the cheating world, forever?



It happens no matter what.



Could it not happen to you again?

why cheatjust end it.No one really deserves to be hurt,even if they
don't know it.

No there is never a good exscuse to cheat...If you want someone new
leave the relationship plain and simple!!!!!!!!!

i totall agree with you Native

Oh boy! So many points to ponder. In 20 years, my ex cheated twice.
The first time I stayed for us. The second time I left for me.

I have forgiven. That is something we do for ourselves. It does not
mean that what the other person did is okay...it just means that I am no
longer willing to carry around the emotional charge of it. After the
first time I did forgive completely and I did love unconditionally.
Eight years later, he cheated again and it was time to leave.

Do I think he is evil? Of course not. But I learned the lesson. Would
I forgive a cheater again. Sure but I would not stay with them.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Cheating - It is the ultimate disrespect in a relationship. Get out if
you are not happy. No excuses in my opinion!

Nothing in life is worse than a liar or a cheater. They dont
change.......

cheating shows just how shallow a person can be. In my opinion a person
could be honest with me, and I would feel better if she wanted to be
with someone else and told me before she cheated. If she cheats, I
promise I will never speak to her again. I have NO respect for cheaters,
or liars. I don't surround myself with individuals that do, and to me a
cheater is a liar.

hellow razor!!!!
when did you get here



And thank you all for your shares......

Just to add a little humor... I'd only cheat for chunky monkey
icecream... on a diet that is!

As for cheating, I believe it happens when one person isn't happy or
maybe even both. I believe a person that is true to themselves should be
able to say this isn't working and I really need to leave this
relationship BEFORE they cheat.

Okay so who has the chunky monkey icecream?

good point about the chunky monkey hahaha.



No really usually people cheat due to unhappiness, however it can be
other issues too.

sextual addiction, no respect for relationship, and many other
insightful reasons.

Tulip, I agree with you.

Okay where's the chunky monkey icecream? LOL

No, there's never an excuse!
If you're not happy then it takes more guts to just leave and do the
right thing. Then go get laid by some strange!

what if it wasn't premeditated at the time it occured?

hard 2 say

honestly--- to answer this question simply--- there are sooooooo many
EXCUSES for cheating... but NEVER a real REASON... the reasons would
just be selfishness, lack of self control, and no self respect...

yes I do not think we can think in black and white something have a fine
gray line.


JMO