A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small
house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with a
long grey beard. “I’m lost,” said the man, “Can you put me up for the
night?”

“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but one condition. If you so much as
lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst
Chinese tortures known to man.”

“OK,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house.

Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful
and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man
as well, as she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him during the meal.
Remembering the old man’s warning he ignored her and went up to bed
alone.

During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for
a night of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the
old man wouldn’t hear, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read:

“Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”
“Well, that’s easy,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do
then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the boulder up, walked
over to the window and threw it out. As he did so, he noticed another
note on it that read:

“Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting
close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than
castration he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he
plummeted toward the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read:

“Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post.”

UH-OH!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouch!!! that's gonna hurt for a while. . .

Have them meet u at house introduce them to inclosed locked gun case
with Sawed off shotgun

Talk about a vasectomy, Chinese style.......

Oooooooouuuuuuuuuch!!!!!