Believe me, I would much rather have someone to watch my son than to bring him shopping, especially around this time of the year! However, I am a single parent and I don't have family to take care of him when I have to shop. And paying a babysitter everytime I have to run an errand would be more costly. Trust me, it is much more painful for the parent of the screaming kid than it is for you! We are absolutely mortified that our children that acting that way. And unfortunately a good parent will let the child cry and not give the child what they want.

Exactly my point. They had help. Even if it was JUST teachers..

I say they are being very selfish and prideful when they refuse to give thanks to all the teachers, church members (if you go), etc.. who helped them.

I'm a single parent of 3, too. I know where you're coming from, but if I wasn't grateful for the people who did help out, I'm sure I would have been left completely alone.

Actually. I think it's just the fact that you can't admit when you've jumped into a topic without considering the scope of what lilith was trying to say.

Don't mean to sound so crass, but you sort of jumped on her for the village topic..

This is a time of Thanksgiving. Don't deny gratitude to the people who helped you when you needed it most. That's very un-Turkey like.

Not at all! I am not an ungreatful person, and I recognized the support of the teachers, and friends. Furthermore, you can not express a fact about me without knowing where I come from; however, I think that we are mising the point changeofheart was trying to make: Misbehaving kids, not being controlled by the parents.

No, I don't think the point was missed. We all have our own way of viewing things and expressing them. My point is the OP got it, as it was directed in response to a comment he made; my post was facetious and analogous. You argued it. I said it was my perspective and opinion. You still said I was wrong. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Let it go, have a great holiday.

This comment i do not agree with, imo, there is no such thing as a bad kid!

Children r wat they r brought up to be, and if we look really closely at our own, we see our own behaviours in them.

To say that kids can be brats that cant be controlled is not true imo....ALL kids make mistakes, and can adopt certain behaviours, but it doesnt come from nowhere, its been picked up from someone around them.

Just to clarify, *I* am a single parent of 2 boys, aged 13 and 17, and life has not been easy....but i have learned that many of my kids flaws r mine also, and i strive to be aware of that in my dealings with them. I also take responsibility for when things have went wrong, because i am their parent, and it is me who has possibly dealt with things wrongly at certain times, cos lets face it, a big part of parenting is trial and error.

If a parent feels they cant control their kid in public, they should take the time to learn how to. That being said, kids will be kids and throw tantrums, its part of their learning, its more about how we, as adults, deal with it.

Aren't the forums great? They show so much more about a person than thier profile does!

Well, I edited, b/c I didn't mean it to be so poignant towards you. Just saying. That's what lilith meant by village.. The teachers and whoever else played a part in your children's lives.

And now.. I'm thankful the village topic is settled.

As far as the other. I am a part of the village. I teach children in church and at school and I go beyond subject matter to help not only children, but parents understand what methods are best.

Some people just never learned how to be a good parent.. Example.. I have a friend who fusses at her children for not doing things "after-the-fact". I told her she should try harder to tell them exactly what is expected before they go into a situation to avoid this problem. She's done well with it.

It's important that we help when possible, and I'm not saying the grocery store is the place to do that. Changed, I feel for you. I don't know what sort of episode was going on. Not sure if you even explained the whole story. Mind doing us the pleasure?

I am glad we could all express our opinion Children are very precious They do what comes natural to them. Most of the time it very innocent, and sweet Most of the time it only takes a little guidance too fix anything that they do wrong I think at time they think we(Adults) are a little brain Damaged too Have a Blessed Holiday Everyone

I think we all told our kids, or were told by our parents... "Don't ask for anything. We are only going in to buy X,Y and Z".

We said or heard, "Yes daddy/yes mommy"

But we still asked for that stuffed animal or pack of gum. Or our kid(s) did.

And is it fair that some parents let the tantrum go? Yes. Because ignoring them stops the problem, over time. It still doesn't mean we aren't irritated, as observers. Or that I haven't been morbidly embarrassed when it was my child. Do I leave? Yes...

JMO

I have read all the comments here...and as a single mom of 4 kids (mine are 15, 13, 7 and 5) I have learned that yeah.. I can not take all of my kids shopping at once with me... They drive me insane. I can handle one or two at a time though. Because to be quite honest I will paddle that little ass if they act up. (I live in a state that it is NOT against the law to spank your children.) And if my kids act up in the store it only takes me to count to two in a three count before they straighten up. I understand completely what the OP was saying that kids drive him insane. HELL, mine drive me insane sometimes... I think that maybe the village thing was taken out of context a bit... however I also understand what lcjw was stating... I may not agree with her statement completely because to be honest if my kid is out doing something they shouldn't be doing and I can't see him/her, I would hope that somebody would tell me... As I would do the same. I suppose in conclusion.. I think if you can't control you children then maybe you shouldn't be at a store with your kids until you can... (ie when they have calmed down or you have calmed down)

I was taught that tolerance for children was part of being an adult. Then you get old & cranky & they have to tolerate you.

Listen When they get old enough too tell you how much of a S123y parent you were, your going too feel like none of it mattered anyway. We do what we think is right for that situation. Hopefully when they become Parents they will understand

Ha!

When I told my mother I was pregnant she said, only half in jest:
"I hope it's a girl and she will be as bad as you were".

Lol.. yes! I remember a few embarrassing moments myself.

My 14 yr. old is special needs and just three years ago, when most children know better.. We went thru this phase where if I turned my back for a single second, and if there was a baby within an aisle's length of us, she would be over there, holding the baby's hand and talking to it. I'm like, "Cait, they want to get their shopping done, now's not a good time."

I love it when kids come up to me or my son.....
The little ones are drawn to me for some reason, I must scream mommy vibes.....and my son will 'pat' or 'pet' them.... saying awww aren't you cute! He is 7....

My friend once told me a technique she used on her son when he was younger...when she went out shopping, if he was whining and taking a tantrum, she would stop in the middle of the aisle, drop her shopping and scream at the top of her voice "I WANT THIS! I WANT THAT!" stomping her feet, then compose herself, and continue as if nothing had happened!.....Her son was shocked and didnt do it too much after that!

Or that only works occassionally!


An older lady raising her grandchildren told me she tells them to scream or cry louder! And to keep repeating it. Usually children will stop because they are crying or scream to that you will want them to stop so that they get their way.

It works.. but till they get a little older and some 'tude, then they will scream louder! LOL

Thank you!