Topic: Do You Know Your "Place"?
noblenan's photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:20 AM
Respect and trust must be top priority in a relationship from the start. If you have that, "who's on top" will be insignificant. flowerforyou

glasses

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:25 AM
Words of Wisdom, Nan...

Adrenaline's photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:26 AM

Respect and trust must be top priority in a relationship from the start. If you have that, "who's on top" will be insignificant. flowerforyou

glasses


I like that answer.

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:27 AM

A lot of people say they want a 50/50 relationship, but how realistic is that? I think most of the time there is always gonna be one who is more dominant & one who is more submissive. (Not talking about a "sex" thing & please don't confuse Dominant with Domineering...)

So, where do you usually find yourself in a relationship...& are you content with your "place"?


A relationship should be give and take.

Sometimes you give a little more, but then, sometimes you take a little more, depending on circumstance.

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:35 AM
Yes Invisible...but I'm really talking about the intrinsic nature of a person...are you a dominant leader or would you rather follow...& in either role are you comfortable with yourself?

Does a Leader feel weighed down by the responsibilities of decision making, etc... Does a Follower resent the fact that they are in the background more. Or are you content with being just who you naturally are...& not worrying about what Society expects of "roles"...

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:46 AM
No, I don't believe in this role system.
You can only appoint yourself to play either the more submissive or the more dominant person.
I truly believe in sharing.

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:47 AM
Edited by invisible on Tue 11/25/08 08:47 AM
oops

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 08:54 AM
It has nothing to do with "sharing" & I don't think we "appoint" our roles to ourselves...we are just born that way. I'm naturally dominant...that is my nature. But it doesn't mean I don't know how to bend or comply. I am content with the way that I am & would vehemently resist anyone who would want to try to change me...I change only for myself.

lilith401's photo
Tue 11/25/08 09:32 AM
By reading this last post, I can't help but believe you choose not to be a peer. We can choose to behave a certain way, for all we control are our actions and behaviors...

If you truly wanted a balanced relationship you'd stop being so dominant. Being controlling illustrates, after all, well, that is just another way to say lack of trust, esteem issues, and fear.

Sorry, dear.

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 09:46 AM

By reading this last post, I can't help but believe you choose not to be a peer. We can choose to behave a certain way, for all we control are our actions and behaviors...

If you truly wanted a balanced relationship you'd stop being so dominant. Being controlling illustrates, after all, well, that is just another way to say lack of trust, esteem issues, and fear.

Sorry, dear.



You ovbiously didn't comprehend my opening post...dear. So I'll say it again...there is a difference between dominance & being domineering...in fact, one could assume...just by your last post...that you may be quite controlling yourself as exemplified in your ease of doling out "balanced" relationship advice...advice I didn't ask for. But as always, I appreciate everyone's contribution...it gives me greater insight into who & what we are dealing with...

lilith401's photo
Tue 11/25/08 09:51 AM
My comments were based on all of your posts in this thread, not just the OP. You may assume what you wish, as I went based on your statements.....

Passive aggressive behavior does fit quite neatly into self-proclaimed dominant personalities. I do apologize if you took a simple observation, based on fact, as a personal insult. It was not meant to be. You assumed a tone, an implication, a personal dig... whatever the case may be.

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 09:57 AM
So-called "simple observations" are based on personal "observations"...are they not? But thank you for your apology...perhaps we can get back on topic, which is (whether to be imposed or intrinsic) are you happy with your "place"?

lilith401's photo
Tue 11/25/08 09:58 AM
No, observations, IMO, are based on observations. I'm quite objective, it's my job to be.

I am not in a relationship at this time. So I have no "place".

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 11/25/08 09:59 AM

Respect and trust must be top priority in a relationship from the start. If you have that, "who's on top" will be insignificant. flowerforyou

glasses


:thumbsup:

KennyLingus's photo
Tue 11/25/08 10:23 AM
Objective, opinionated, arrogant, elitist, just rambling. Don't mind me.

krupa's photo
Tue 11/25/08 10:32 AM
As long as my bird bows to my everywhim and fetches my beer before I even ask...then we are golden!

hehehehehehe...that is a joke kids.

After physically having hung out with Phuque on more than one occassion... I know very well that she is a level headed woman with a practical sense of reality. Sure she is a take no crap kind of girl...gotta respect that....but, she is also a good-hearted and empathetic bird too. I don't know everyone else here but, I can say that about her with zero hesitation. You RAWK Phuque! Phuque2 is a very fortunate guy!

MirrorMirror's photo
Tue 11/25/08 10:36 AM

A lot of people say they want a 50/50 relationship, but how realistic is that? I think most of the time there is always gonna be one who is more dominant & one who is more submissive. (Not talking about a "sex" thing & please don't confuse Dominant with Domineering...)

So, where do you usually find yourself in a relationship...& are you content with your "place"?
flowers I don't want to be the "dominant one" and I dont want to be the "submissive one" either.flowers But I don't mind letting the woman make most of the decisions as long as she has good judgement.flowers

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 10:41 AM

As long as my bird bows to my everywhim and fetches my beer before I even ask...then we are golden!

hehehehehehe...that is a joke kids.

After physically having hung out with Phuque on more than one occassion... I know very well that she is a level headed woman with a practical sense of reality. Sure she is a take no crap kind of girl...gotta respect that....but, she is also a good-hearted and empathetic bird too. I don't know everyone else here but, I can say that about her with zero hesitation. You RAWK Phuque! Phuque2 is a very fortunate guy!




Hahahaha! Krupa, you dork! You know, the reason I posted this was cuz Mike & I were talking about our relationship last night. Now Krupa, you KNOW that he & I are very strong-willed individuals, but somehow, it works for us. I've usually been involved with the "quieter" types, so this was definitely something new.

krupa's photo
Tue 11/25/08 10:45 AM
No problem girl...you should both just wear the pants in the family....unless you both decide to just wear the dress in the family...?!?!?!?!?!?...now THAT is a mental image! hahahahahaha

no photo
Tue 11/25/08 10:46 AM
I know my place. It's right beside her

whoever is dominant or passive changes with the situation. If we're doing this thing then I'm dominant cause I know what we're doin. If we're doing that thing then she is dominant cause she knows better than I

the whole relationship is fluid and reactive and has to be. If it gets static then it stagnates