A lot of people say they want a 50/50 relationship, but how realistic is that? I think most of the time there is always gonna be one who is more dominant & one who is more submissive. (Not talking about a "sex" thing & please don't confuse Dominant with Domineering...)

So, where do you usually find yourself in a relationship...& are you content with your "place"?

I am interested in a 100/100 relationship, myself.

A peer.

I have been on both ends of the spectrum here, I think it is best if you share the give and take in a relationship. No body is always on top of their game and a mutual support and consession works best for me.

I think there are times when a relationship flucuates in terms of giving and taking. It ebbs and flows.... but if it doesn't start out even keel and with a balance, it will flounder as it will be foundationally unsound.

Ditto! Well said!

No, I disagree. What I mean is need, support, and effort. That must be balanced from the get go.

I think you and I are the only one's that see it as a 100/100 relationship - why be with someone who is only willing to give you half of himself

OP - *Do I know my Place* yes, where ever I am that I am occupying space is my place

I firmly agree with the "give & take" aspects of a relationship but IMO it is unrealistic to expect a completely "equal" partner... It sounds great on paper but the intrinsic nature of a person (whether Dom or Sub) will USUALLY attract the opposite. Like Yin & Yang...different but harmonious...

Two magnets may attract...but reverse the polarity, & they repell eachother.

I prefer thinking of it in terms like a magnet & a piece of metal...both different but also cohesive in their attraction...

My place tends to be where no one else is...so much more comfy in the dark corner.

A relationship in perfect condition is 50/50, but yes, usually there is a dominant party in the relationship. Honestly though they are give and take, and most people can generally only take so much before they get out...so if the relationship is lasting there is both for both parties involved, perhaps more for one than the other but regardless each take their blows.

Hmm Hard to find that balance in the beginning> I realize what you are saying and mutual support ETC is important but it does ebb and flow so sometimes you need to know when to take the lead and others when to shut your mouth and follow

Well, yes it is hard to find. It explains why a lot of us are single!

I tend to start a relationship fresh, not applying anything from past relationships. the person you are starting out with new deserves that and not be unfairly judged because you are comparing your past to the person you are with now. They deserve a clean slate as much as you do

Where did that come from?

That is a given.... no need to say that.

Yeah i know where my place is as Letting the other be who they are, people tend to want to control so, knowing everyone is different who knows where things might go.

well I needed to say it because I have been in a relationship where all she did was compare me to her ex. I hated it and we did not last long. I think it goes hand in hand with the topic here

There is nothing wrong in expressing your opinion

I strongly believe in a equal partner relationship where both contribute significantly, but I think your right about the natural dominant / submissive roles. Doing more than the other person is fine just as long as both people are comfortable with it. Some people are nurturers and need to take care of someone while others need a lot of help just to survive. It's the natural balance of things.

I think I'm a little of both. I like to have someone to take care of, but if I feel like I am the only one giving I feel like Im being used. On the other hand while I like having some things done for be to show love, etc, blah, blah....I don't want to be coddled and tended over. Im very independent and like to fend for myself a lot of times.

So Halo...when she was comparing you...were you exactly like the ex...or completely different? Was she like "Oh, you're just like him!" or "Why can't you be more like him?"

More like " Are you cheating on me because he cheated on me and I did not know till later"
Or You are so different from him but you will probably do the same things he did"
really hurt and low self esteem. I told her she needed to let go of things and stop using her ex as a measuring stick to her new relationships.
she said I was being insesitive to her pain and I said BYE