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Topic: he wants to just be friends:(
justlooking11's photo
Mon 11/24/08 02:53 PM
i was together with my ex for 2 and a half years. We had a beautiful baby boy last year and 4 months later he passed away. :( Our relationship crumbled. I still am in love with him but hes not ready to be in a commitment so were just "talking" and sleeping together. Am I setting myself up for more hurt?? I love this man but its so different now that he dont return that love back
please help

no photo
Mon 11/24/08 02:55 PM
You already know the answer.

iverson721's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:02 PM
im confused...i thought he passed away

jtip1977's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:03 PM

im confused...i thought he passed away


Her son passed away - then their relationship crumbled.

I'm sorry for your loss. Can't even imagine.:cry:

justlooking11's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:09 PM
yea its really hard and i cant handle much more hurt. when im with him i feel stronger tho. He says hes not ready to be committed not just to me but anyone
he says hes scared to have kids but we have sex and dont use nothing. but ill never get pregnant it seems.
he says he fell out of love with me
how do u get ur ex to fall back in love with u
i need some advice please

iverson721's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:12 PM
start over again, maybe go on a vacation or even a weekend getaway and rediscover each other.

awolf1010's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:13 PM
go see a counselor.....NOW!!!!
and drag him along too!!!!
I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy!!!!
my brother passed away young......it nearly destroyed my parents....but they got through it and just celebrated 51yrs.flowerforyou

ledi180's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:14 PM
I have no idea but just sleeping with him isn't gonna solve the problem (no matter how fun it is, how good it feels when he's there, etc).

If he's interested, try counseling.

Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss. flowerforyou

MsCarmen's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:45 PM

yea its really hard and i cant handle much more hurt. when im with him i feel stronger tho. He says hes not ready to be committed not just to me but anyone
he says hes scared to have kids but we have sex and dont use nothing. but ill never get pregnant it seems.
he says he fell out of love with me
how do u get ur ex to fall back in love with u
i need some advice please


Honestly, I think you are setting yourself up for a fall. Having another child with him, isn't going to replace the one you lost, nor is it going to "fix" things. It could end up making it worse, to the point that he ends up resenting you. If he's not in love with you anymore, then having another baby isn't going to make him fall back in love with you. I'm sorry for your loss in both your child and your relationship. As others have said, it would probably be a good idea to seek counseling.

Ruth34611's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:47 PM
Please, please, please, I'm begging you...stop having unprotected sex with him for now. If you get pregnant it WILL NOT fix this. It will not replace the baby you lost and it will not fix your relationship. PLEASE. Seek some counseling and don't bring a baby into this. flowerforyou

Ruth34611's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:50 PM
Okay, I wasn't going to say this because you have suffered so much and I understand where you are coming from. but, you have to understand this....if you allow yourself to get pregnant now and with this man it will be a completely selfish act with no concern for what kind of life your child will have. I know you are hurting beyond all belief, but this is not the way. flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou

Riding_Dubz's photo
Mon 11/24/08 03:51 PM
it is what it is,

justlooking11's photo
Wed 11/26/08 12:21 AM
yeah but he is such a good father and if i was to be pregnant he would be there every step of the way and i know that
until you have lost a baby you will never realize the true pain it causes
i know deep in my heart he could never be replaced but im trying to bring out a new love so i can find a reason to wanna live again
when my baby was taken so was my soul

no photo
Wed 11/26/08 12:23 AM
yeah but?

OneTiredMind's photo
Wed 11/26/08 12:28 AM
i think your sn is the end to this story

FearandLoathing's photo
Wed 11/26/08 12:33 AM
The famous two choices. One; stick around as the once in awhile bed buddy and "talk", or two; walk away now leaving behind the possibility of hurt down the road...bed buddies never work out from my experience, one or both become attached and the relationship fails from there...hours, years, decades...doesn't matter it can all be shattered by an ill-minded decision.

no photo
Wed 11/26/08 02:24 AM
you have lost so much, too much for a young girl.You know deep down that getting pregnant will not fix things.He will not suddenly love you again, he will be wracked with giult for being stupid enough to put himself and you in this position yet again.It will ruin any chance of a proper relationship. If you really care for each other, step out of his arena and get some space between you. You are young and have plenty of time to find yourself and heal.you are just there for him when he needs you and you are just clinging to a false hope, please, stop.You are just setting yourself up for utter misery.xxx

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 11/29/08 06:28 AM

yea its really hard and i cant handle much more hurt. when im with him i feel stronger tho. He says hes not ready to be committed not just to me but anyone
he says hes scared to have kids but we have sex and dont use nothing. but ill never get pregnant it seems.
he says he fell out of love with me
how do u get ur ex to fall back in love with u
i need some advice please


Your :heart: brokenheart must be made of steel. I couldn't keep making love with a man who admittedly no longer is in love with me.

Move on babe. If he changes his mind after you are no longer there, he'll know how to find you. They always do.

flowers

hellkitten54's photo
Sat 11/29/08 07:01 AM

yeah but he is such a good father and if i was to be pregnant he would be there every step of the way and i know that
until you have lost a baby you will never realize the true pain it causes
i know deep in my heart he could never be replaced but im trying to bring out a new love so i can find a reason to wanna live again
when my baby was taken so was my soul


You said that he has already told you he fell out of love with you. He has already made up his mind and there isn't much you can do to change it. Even if you got knocked up, it won't make him love you. You need to get counseling on your own and get him out of your life.

Moondark's photo
Sat 11/29/08 07:50 AM

yea its really hard and i cant handle much more hurt. when im with him i feel stronger tho. He says hes not ready to be committed not just to me but anyone
he says hes scared to have kids but we have sex and dont use nothing. but ill never get pregnant it seems.
he says he fell out of love with me
how do u get ur ex to fall back in love with u
i need some advice please


It's a 'relationship' that is there. It is convienient but leave him open to others if he meets someone. He may not be completely consious of it, but he is just using you. You are there, a known quantity, no risk of rejection, and he feels no pressure to commit any farther than that.

For your own health and wellbeing, move on. Tell him that you need to be free to find someone who is really ready to be there in the relationship. Not just someone who is coasting downstream on the current.

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