Well, I am getting ready to move out, go off to college, and get on the
track of my 20s. Thouygh my others side of the family is thrilled that i
will be an independent woman, im not so sure what to do with my dad.
I visit him every saturday (since i was born!) so im not sure how to
gently assist him in letting me go, i might be moving out of state. It
does seem easy, but he is super clingy and still acts like im 13(turning
20 this october)!!!

So my question is:
When your child left the nestm how would you like them to deal with you
about it?

This is so confusing, and i dont have many people around me who can
identify with me or my situation.

I would suggest talking to him about why you are going, how it will be
of benefit to you, etc. Then promise to call once a week; I would
suggest on Saturdays given that, that has been the normal routine.

You're never going to be able to say anything that will make him not
worry or wish you weren't moving. The only thing you can do is make it
as much like you haven't moved as possible.

Hey Autumn Queen cool name lol. but im older so i had the name

first LOL Just teasin.

Well, our situation is different but maybe I can help out a little. I am
a mother sending her son off to college...even though I am going to be
sad, I am also going to be very very proud of my son!! I have worked
very hard to get him through high school and I have dreamed of this day
to actually say that I have been a single parent, I am responcible for
him going to college.
I am sure the tears are going to roll down my face as he walks out those
doors as he leaves our house to face his fears of being on his own and
going to college. I have to give him his space to grow but I have showed
him enough love that I know he will call me every week just to tell me
that he loves me, or if he needs something, or if he needs
encouragement.
Trust me, you think that your father is going to be upset...I think that
you might be upset a little also? If he is the good father that I think
he is from the way it sounds, I am sure that you will call him more then
once a week...esp. when you become home sick or you need
encouragment~~~so don't forget...call your father just to let him know
that he did do a good job and you do appreciate it!! By
the way, good luck at college
Also do you realize that some of us parents wait until we raise our
children to really start our lives?? Who knows, now maybe your father
might actually start his life!!

i will be glad that they are heading out.. i will still be there for
them. but they are going to have to learn lessons that i can not teach
and only life can..

then i am going to party, travel, walk around the house naked if i feel
like it..

Every situation is different. I had 5 kids, 3 boys and my "oops" twin
girls...When my oldest went, he didn't fool around! Left Texas for New
York! There were no weekend visits, and since it was West Point, Army,
no regular calls home either. It was very very very difficult! AND he
was only 17 when he left! My second son went 30 miles up the freeway,
so he was back and forth constantly, was just like high school! My
third went to Dallas, 10 hours away. Few visits, few phone calls,
finally one from the DEA. oh oh, lesson learned! Stay in touch!!! My
baby is now graduating next month, college has been a wonderful
experience for her, altho the first year was tough. But she did make
new friends, and find new favorite stores and parks and restaurants, and
made the town her home. And so will you. And so will your dad. It's a
transition every parent must make, and we life through it, even if we do
give a few kicks and screams.

Autumn, your dad is a grown man, sure it will tear at hisheart strings
buthe knows it is best for you, and he is very proud of his little girl
ging to college, it probably scares the hell out of him because he won't
beright there, but believe e heknowshowyou think and ifyou can take
care of yourself. He alsoknows that you arte old enough to make your own
decisions without him, and hopefully the right ones. Going to college is
the best decision you have made in your life so farand I guarauntee all
of us parents arevery proud of you, take it from a father of five, three
of them over 20, two of those are girls, so know a little about his
situation.
It will be hard at first but he will be fine, you need to worry about
yourself right now, get good grades and just make him prouder of you
kid, GOOD LUCK

Thanks guys for the advise and stories, I feel a bit better now. :)

Its hard to be someones kid, but i know its no vacation to be a parent.
lol.

jessica

Autumn

A line from "Saving Private Ryan" comes to mind. "Earn It"
Your parents have done their best & now it is up to you. Earn the
respect & hopes your parents have for you. Call home, write silly
notes, but most of all, be & do the best you can & make them even
PROUDER.

Be Safe
God Bless

Oldsage

I dont really care too much about my dads respect, I just dont want to
have to call the police if he starts stalking me and being obnoxious and
disrespectful.

Its just harder sometimes for a parent that has to visit their child to
let go because they are so used to visiting at certain times.

I just want to make sure i can do this so its easier for my dad.

My dad is such a mental case from his screwed up relationships with
women, and it affected how he saw me and treated me that it really put a
huge wedge between us. Sometimes iI feel like i dont even owe him a
healthy let go, but i am giving it to him anyway.

He was never really a Parent-parent, more of a friend/older sib.

Good on you lil one!! a good education is essential for any woman out
here!!!
My dad had passed when i was real young so i never had that father
daughter bond but i will say my mom was THRILLED when i moved out!!!LOL
yeah...i was a bad bad gurl!!!!

i feel like alex p. keaton with my dad,lol.

except im not a republican
lol