Topic: Real men
TelephoneMan's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:24 AM

One who does not whine or need or demand.


I think I saw some of these guys on a slab down at the morgue the other day... totally didn't need a thing, had no emotion... perfect, huh?

Some of the least needy fellers I've ever met....

buffry's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:25 AM


One who does not whine or need or demand.


I think I saw some of these guys on a slab down at the morgue the other day... totally didn't need a thing, had no emotion... perfect, huh?

Some of the least needy fellers I've ever met....


laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

FAK's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:27 AM
real men hang to the left

laugh

no photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:28 AM

I'm an exotic. I'm an out of the normal mainstream character. I'm an old timer on here. Many people do not believe I'm real. Until a few people met me and/or corresponded with me. Then and only then did they realize that "This nutcase is as real as the hype". When I say I live like a modern day forrest gump- I'm not kidding.


I think it's just easier for a lot of people to dismiss those who don't "fit the mold" nicely. That's been my experience anyway.

A lot of people seem to be intimidated by the idea of a person who truly knows what he/she WANTS -- maybe even moreso by the idea of a person who truly knows what he/she DOESN'T want --

Because there's less wiggle room there, less "I can change him/her for the better" -- which is really just another way of saying "I can turn them into someone else."

But some of us are just going to refuse to become that new, more acceptable, more suitable person. Some of us are OK with who we already are. Not to say we can't learn and grow and experience and evolve, but....there's an element of "it is what it is."

Being outside-the-box is hard if you're looking for someone to share your life with. But I'll be damned if I ever let anybody pull me back INTO that box again.

txmomof2's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:30 AM
and it all comes down to who sets the standards of "real" or "fake"

buffry's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:30 AM


I'm an exotic. I'm an out of the normal mainstream character. I'm an old timer on here. Many people do not believe I'm real. Until a few people met me and/or corresponded with me. Then and only then did they realize that "This nutcase is as real as the hype". When I say I live like a modern day forrest gump- I'm not kidding.


I think it's just easier for a lot of people to dismiss those who don't "fit the mold" nicely. That's been my experience anyway.

A lot of people seem to be intimidated by the idea of a person who truly knows what he/she WANTS -- maybe even moreso by the idea of a person who truly knows what he/she DOESN'T want --

Because there's less wiggle room there, less "I can change him/her for the better" -- which is really just another way of saying "I can turn them into someone else."

But some of us are just going to refuse to become that new, more acceptable, more suitable person. Some of us are OK with who we already are. Not to say we can't learn and grow and experience and evolve, but....there's an element of "it is what it is."

Being outside-the-box is hard if you're looking for someone to share your life with. But I'll be damned if I ever let anybody pull me back INTO that box again.



Very well said! It actually says in my profile that I think outside the box and if you do too, I would love to hear from you, lol. I simply cannot be with someone who is rigid or closed minded. It would totally hinder who I am as a person!flowerforyou

papersmile's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:31 AM
Edited by papersmile on Sat 11/08/08 07:34 AM


how could anyone NOT want to feel needed by another?

that is one of the most comforting of all feelings; to know that someone else relies on you, and that there is another person on whom you can depend.



Because there's less wiggle room there, less "I can change him/her for the better" -- which is really just another way of saying "I can turn them into someone else."

But some of us are just going to refuse to become that new, more acceptable, more suitable person. Some of us are OK with who we already are. Not to say we can't learn and grow and experience and evolve, but....there's an element of "it is what it is."

Being outside-the-box is hard if you're looking for someone to share your life with. But I'll be damned if I ever let anybody pull me back INTO that box again.


if someone changes you, even one small thing, then you really aren't that person they fell in love with anymore, are they? and then what would be the point?

tundraguy's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:37 AM
papersmile i agreewith you . i would find it very hard to wash my hand without my other hand to help if ya know where i am going with this analogybiggrin

longhairbiker's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:37 AM
The declarations and demands and manifestos that people put up in their profiles amuses me also. As do some of the statements people make in threads concerning their expectations on qualities that they seek in others. Most of what they say is because of their past experiences and some of it is a right out defense mechanism. Don't believe me? Ok. Don't you just love people who build the worlds biggest wall to keep everyone out and then wonder why noone comes to visit them? REPEATED CASE IN POINT: The people who opt to use the filters on their profile but go overboard. The computer server filters work. They are not human. They don't falter with emotions and feelings or judgements. They do their job- to block people out. So I find it amusing when someone uses the filter blockers. They set the parameters so tight that they are untouchable/ uncontactable. They set the filters for non smokers/ not married/ sex preference male\ female/ age limitations- within a tight span- 30 to 32 years old/ location within 25 miles. Then they start a thread called "Why won't anyone talk to me?" BECAUSE THEY CAN'T YOU BIG DUMMY! Your filters won't let ANYONE contact you! DUH! You've set your filters so tight the computer keeps everyone out. You've built the perfect fortress. The epitamy of shooting yourself in the foot. Hope you're happy alone. Deep down its what you really want.

tundraguy's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:39 AM
nobody will ever be the exact person they want, cause if someone got that exact person they in time would seek more out of them. perfection is waking up with a smile on your face thanking god that you lived to see another day and if lucky enough that when you wake up with that smile on ur face there might just be another smile next to you waiting

tundraguy's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:42 AM

The declarations and demands and manifestos that people put up in their profiles amuses me also. As do some of the statements people make in threads concerning their expectations on qualities that they seek in others. Most of what they say is because of their past experiences and some of it is a right out defense mechanism. Don't believe me? Ok. Don't you just love people who build the worlds biggest wall to keep everyone out and then wonder why noone comes to visit them? REPEATED CASE IN POINT: The people who opt to use the filters on their profile but go overboard. The computer server filters work. They are not human. They don't falter with emotions and feelings or judgements. They do their job- to block people out. So I find it amusing when someone uses the filter blockers. They set the parameters so tight that they are untouchable/ uncontactable. They set the filters for non smokers/ not married/ sex preference male\ female/ age limitations- within a tight span- 30 to 32 years old/ location within 25 miles. Then they start a thread called "Why won't anyone talk to me?" BECAUSE THEY CAN'T YOU BIG DUMMY! Your filters won't let ANYONE contact you! DUH! You've set your filters so tight the computer keeps everyone out. You've built the perfect fortress. The epitamy of shooting yourself in the foot. Hope you're happy alone. Deep down its what you really want.

i hear ya. i look for friends and everything abouve here

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:44 AM

Show yourselves. bigsmile :banana:


WHAT????????? noway


You mean it's not all fantasy? huh pitchfork

longhairbiker's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:47 AM


I'm an exotic. I'm an out of the normal mainstream character. I'm an old timer on here. Many people do not believe I'm real. Until a few people met me and/or corresponded with me. Then and only then did they realize that "This nutcase is as real as the hype". When I say I live like a modern day forrest gump- I'm not kidding.


I think it's just easier for a lot of people to dismiss those who don't "fit the mold" nicely. That's been my experience anyway.

A lot of people seem to be intimidated by the idea of a person who truly knows what he/she WANTS -- maybe even moreso by the idea of a person who truly knows what he/she DOESN'T want --

Because there's less wiggle room there, less "I can change him/her for the better" -- which is really just another way of saying "I can turn them into someone else."

But some of us are just going to refuse to become that new, more acceptable, more suitable person. Some of us are OK with who we already are. Not to say we can't learn and grow and experience and evolve, but....there's an element of "it is what it is."

Being outside-the-box is hard if you're looking for someone to share your life with. But I'll be damned if I ever let anybody pull me back INTO that box again.

...very true lex. If I was to be form fitted into someone I'm not- I would not be me. I know who I am and what I believe in. I don't force myself or my belief structures on anyone and I do respect their individuality. And I have an open mind. Again it boils down to those being over selective, and not truly being honest with themselves in their criteria demands. Once again- they are not checking their expectations clearly and honestly.

longhairbiker's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:51 AM

and it all comes down to who sets the standards of "real" or "fake"
...yes. The individuals own minds eye.

longhairbiker's photo
Sat 11/08/08 07:59 AM
My favorite profiles? Fake boobs. Fake haircolor. Fake eye color. Fake nails. But looking for a "real man". NEXT!

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 11/08/08 08:08 AM

My favorite profiles? Fake boobs. Fake haircolor. Fake eye color. Fake nails. But looking for a "real man". NEXT!



Hey huh what's wrong with fun hair eh? huh rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

txmomof2's photo
Sat 11/08/08 08:12 AM

My favorite profiles? Fake boobs. Fake haircolor. Fake eye color. Fake nails. But looking for a "real man". NEXT!


rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

uk1971's photo
Sat 11/08/08 04:03 PM
I tried the opening doors, helping her on with her coat, moving her chair back for her in restaurants, buying flowers unexpectedly for her, paying her compliments thing etc. on my ex wife.
She still cheated on me with my now ex best friend when I was in hospital recovering from a stroke.
I sometimes wonder if it's worth the effort

frustrated frustrated frustrated

txmomof2's photo
Sat 11/08/08 04:11 PM
ouch

Britty's photo
Sun 11/09/08 06:12 AM
Edited by Britty on Sun 11/09/08 06:16 AM

I tried the opening doors, helping her on with her coat, moving her chair back for her in restaurants, buying flowers unexpectedly for her, paying her compliments thing etc. on my ex wife.
She still cheated on me with my now ex best friend when I was in hospital recovering from a stroke.
I sometimes wonder if it's worth the effort

frustrated frustrated frustrated


Yes, Tom I can recognize how frustrating that is, but I would venture to say it is worth it, because that is the man you are, so to be true to yourself.

A real man - is going to be seen and described in different ways, we are all unique, some of the things I believe a real man is:

Strong, but sensitive
Confident but humble
Tough but kind
Emotionally balanced, laughs and cries as he pleases
Word is his bond
Willing to help others
Focused
Kind to himself
He has ethical ideals
Values family
Self sufficient
Responsible
Strong in faith but recognizing no-one is perfect


I have met men like this, but it does not mean they are necessarily the right man for me, it does mean I value them as a person and can respect them and wish them to be happy.


{{{{huggies}}} Tom.

If you try you may fail others, but if you don't try you fail yourself.

flowerforyou :heart: