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*so the last 3 lines I kinda forced a bit, not sure about em and the title I didnt know what to call it... I'm open to suggestions. Please don't be an a$$.* thanks
I’m depressed Not sure why Sitting alone In the dark I need someone To hold Can’t stand Goin’ to bed Alone The pillow Worn so Thin From years Of squeezing So tight There’s nothing To it now Why isn’t She in my arms Why do I continue Wishing she was More times Than not When I think Of her I’m happy Floating on Cloud nine But, once In awhile I feel Conflicted Argue with Myself knowing The answer She’s everything And, the best I’ll ever Have. DY 10-21-08 |
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Dude thats a good write the last lines are fine it's a good title too, whats with the picture somebody beat up on you?
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Edited by
Army_Strong
on
Tue 10/21/08 09:25 AM
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Dude thats a good write the last lines are fine it's a good title too, whats with the picture somebody beat up on you? Thanks. lol it would take a few people and or a weapon of some kind to get that effect haha. No it's stage blood from the-haunt. I'm one of the actors there |
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"But, once
In awhile I feel Conflicted Argue with Myself knowing The answer She’s everything And, the best I’ll ever Have." Hmmm - More questions with answers are buried in here along with another poem, I think. May just lead to how this one really should end naturally rather than forced. Just a thought. |
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Edited by
d4tc
on
Tue 10/21/08 09:53 AM
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Great write.
If I were to even change one thing. It would only be one thing. I would change the word I'll to I and the last word from Have to Had. Nice special effects btw Edit: I guess that was two things, sorry, lol. |
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good write the feelings do come through
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