Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.
Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job
security

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings,
they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

We put the "k" in "kwality."

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural
Stupidity

A person who smiles in the face of dversity...probably
has a scapegoat.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is
chaos...then you probably haven't completely
understood the situation.

Plagiarism saves time.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid
altogether.

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame
yourself.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in
large groups.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an
incompetent slacker.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm
clock at all.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee
break.

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

Succeed in spite of management.

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other
companies do all day.

You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.

Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

and my personal favorite:

If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling
the right thing.

Why do so many of these seem to apply ??