Ok.. Let's Communicate and direct to the point.
What was your situation you are referring to?

Are you talking about a breakup?
Sorry dude there is no easy way of doing it... but it is the best for all parties involved.

Have analyze the breakup scenario before, there is just no easy way of doing it. To her she thinks, She choose the less painful way. She balanced the "honesty and Painful" vs "Avoidance and Less Painful".

Stop dwelling on Honesty and Communication. It is not the real issue. The real issue is you are hurt and there will not be a "good reason why did it happen" to satisfy your pain.

I am sorry.
Move on...

I am assuming a breakup has happened???

It could be, you are not ready for a relationship with that particular girl... I mean, Yes some girls calibrate are so low.. anyone will do. But for the really good High quality selective ladies.. you need to be a Superior Man. The way you are pondering over the question, sets a tone for me, about you. This not saying I am better than you... but I was where you were just this year and I understand. You have to improve yourself so that you can match up with the kind of woman you would want in your life.

If you want to improve yourself... Read "Ways of a Superior Man" by David Deida.


I probably assumed wrong about you and but a foot in my mouth.. but I have to go and didn't want to wait for your response.

Not really a breakup, but the possibility was blown. Thanks for the advice by the way, I'll look into the book you recommended it may come in handy.

I totally agree with what you're saying mirror. What's wrong with just telling it like it is? Yes, sometimes the truth can hurt, but it always prevails. I agree with some of these other statements.

However, if one wants to communicate effectively, one must actively listen instead of just hearing what you're saying. I do not think it has much to do with gender at all. It has to do with two people willing to put forth the effort to communicate clearly. Far too many people are too quick to judge and make assumptions. Nothing irritates me more than someone who will believe what they want to believe rather than gathering all of the facts first.

I am not totally disagreeing with you.
It would be easier if everybody told the truth, but that would take the spice out of life. Joy and Happiness has to have an equal opposite, pain and hurt, in order to know the difference. It adds dimension to your feelie judgement scale.

WE are not a bunch of logical Vulcans saying exactly what we mean... sometimes we don't even know what we are feeling to express it. Therefore, active listen will not help.. you would have to go deeper and understand "Why is she saying this to me? Is this a Test?" (note: I said "She" because it is usually the Man that has to learn to get in touch with his feminine side and understand why she say the things she say without reacting... and maybe if he is recognize as a man that doesn't misinterpret the msg or jump to conclusions or better yet solve the problem for her(you want to leave, lets solve the problem)... you will always be in the loop of convo.)

You're right it has nothing to do with gender.
That is why I used Masculine and Feminine. In the 1950's those roles were in the extremes... where men are men and women are women. The Masculine and Feminine are quite opposites... one wants Details, the other don't. One sought after interaction whether it is negative or positive, the other sought to quickly end the interaction (conversation).



So, what am I saying?
You want someone to communicate in the exact mode that you communicate... not possible all the times. If you did there would be no sexual intensity.

What an experience, talking about not knowing feelings... My 11 yr old daughter was crying last night and she didn't know the reason why. I think I am entering the period of chemical imbalance. My 11 yr old started arguing with my 9 yr old last night and this morning over every little tiny thing. The lights, the shirt, the shower, the time, etc....

About bloody time someone else said it..

HAHA!!! Solid Bloody Communication..
Since we are back on communication again.

"I am hungry" "Ok here is your hamburger"

Is that Solid Communication...
What is the definition of Solid Truthful clear concise communication?

I know how to write in clear and concise operational procedures.... it is BOOOORRRINGGGG!!!!

I finally got analogy about what you guys are asking for vs interesting and living life.

Reading a Manual (Concise Truthful and honest) vs Reading a Novel (long way of expressing a feeling with lots of detail).

One is efficient and to the point in Black & White / yes or No... definite ending..... The other is flowing, a definite maybe.

Learn the way Feminine Talk... Look at a flaming g guy.. Helllloooooo... that is extreme. haha...

Simple things like.
IF a man says "Nice dress", she is thinking "What does he mean by that, does he think I am fat, does he like the color, did he thinks the shoes don't match" She needs details.. that is her way.

What do you need to think like her? (if you really want to bother).. She says "NIce Shirt"... YOu think "Hey she likes my shirt" haha... simple, but she really mean "You're Fat wearing it" Haha... It could be a million things but it encourages conversation.

Just yesterday I got in trouble (again) for being bluntly honest and to the point. It had something to do with people who whine about how everyone treats them badly on the internet, and subsequently demonstrate in one sweeping, decisive maneuver the reason no one likes them (in this person's case unoriginal racist misogyny). (My post got deleted, so don't start looking for it.)

Again I say: The average person will always say that he or she values honesty, but ultimately he or she just wants to be buttered up. It's like a club or clique, right?

"DON'T LIE TO ME! I NEVER TELL LIES AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO DO!" is of course a statement that arises from fear. Saying, "I don't play games," is of course the first move of a complicated game.



I was not accusing you of dishonesty, if that's what you think I was saying. I was discussing the topic with you, and have no accusations to make. I didn't understand what you originally said. It sounded like you were directing your remarks to one particular person, and that you were angry at that person.

Also yesterday, ironically enough, I experienced the type of "honesty" that I talked about in my post above this one: I was walking to my local post office. I was wearing my favorite skirt and tee shirt combination which in my opinion--and that of my boyfriend--makes me look good. It's not overly tight or revealing; the skirt comes down to my shins. I was wearing my favorite choker. I was carrying my umbrella because it was a hot day.

I passed these two guys who were surveying something in the street. One of them said in a contemptuous tone: "That looks ridiculous!" When I glanced in their direction, I saw them looking at me. (He was "just being honest", right?)

When I passed them on my way back, they were out of their truck. I made a point of passing very close to them, and giving them a big smile and wave. The guy who hadn't said anything didn't look at me and in fact ran behind the truck, pretending that he was picking something up off the ground.

The guy who said that I appeared "ridiculous" was in his 20s and likely weighed close to 350 pounds. He was splitting out of his clothing. His facial features were nearly lost in the fat. He was sweating, smelled bad, and was sunburned. His calves were as big around as my waist.

So in this case, it appears that his "honesty" was more along the lines of a preemptive strike. He saw me, thought I looked hot, but realized that I wouldn't think the same about him. Therefore he denounced me in a demonstration of how he's no woman's plaything. "Don't think you can mess with me, lady!"

The last time a man called me a "dog" in a loud voice in public was in the grocery store. He didn't just call me a dog, he called me a "f!cking dog" and then ducked around the end of the aisle. Several people heard him and the place got really quiet. I followed him to see where he'd gone and was surprised to see him duck into the "employees only" door--so he worked there, or was a vendor, I guess. When I went to checkout, the checkout lady's hands were shaking really badly. I know most of the people who work at that store and try to stay on really friendly terms with them, so though I didn't refer to the incident directly or complain, I tried to reassure her (by being nice and upbeat) that I wasn't blaming her or the store for what happened.

And again: The man who did this was VERY overweight, had a bad case of "hat hair", and left a cheesy smell in his wake when he fled. (And for some reason I haven't seen him since.)

In both cases I got some amusement from thinking that these individuals are members of internet dating sites--and it's probable that they are.

It's also likely that each of them has something in his profile about "honesty".

Yep: He's honestly insecure, and honestly full of fear.

If you say you're looking for honesty, you will always find something else.

Honesty is like a flower growing up through concrete. It's something that just sort of happens, not something that someone cultivated on purpose or asked for, and it's always a pleasant surprise. xoxoxo

I believe you've hit that on the spot. I have met more woman that tell you what you want to here. Then a month later they just want to be friends. Seems the one I really liked said she was being honest. But after time I found out that she was hiding and trying to get away with other relationships. She sucked me in, broke my heart and then said I was crazy. She played me well and even told me she loved me at one time. This was tough but a good lesson learned. Don't get intimate early on and keep your heart for the right person. Sex is sex and making Love is making Love. Two different things. How she could get intimate and throw me away when she found something better in her eyes is just plain sleezy.She is still looking for the next best thing. I feel sorry for the list of guys she's gonna go through. Me...Sad in Green Bay Wisconsin

By no means am I sad, just frustrated really. I don't care for deception, especially coming from people that claim this hiearchy of honesty and truth. I honestly just don't like people taking the p*ss out of me with deceitful words.

I've read through everyone's comment. Taking everyone's input into consideration, I think we can all agree that "honesty" depends entirely on the person saying it. Unfortunately, there are many people that are dishonest and use it for deceitful purposes.

Roco

I don't believe you

GRUNT once for yes

Grunt twice for no

or please dial again and an operator will be with you shortly!

Is that what you tell him to do because he is handcuffed and gag-ed.

Yes.........now hurry up and get the fuzzy handcuffs!!

UHmmmm...can't.....mmm.huuurry.sm..**Grunt**..**Grunt** *...you're still sitting on my face...**Grunt*** ***Grunt****

uhhhhhhhhhhhh you wish home boy!!!!


Is this dialing for fantasies again????

for him i think so

Ok that's it...
I am going to take a shower...
I am going to bed...
And I am going to sleep... as if nothing happened... because somebody ruin my fantasy for tonight. hehe JK

Good night everybody..