Honey, you wear your heart on your sleeve...knock it off. If she can't respect what you want, what you do currently, and where you want to be in a few years, she wasn't your perfect match....

she's someone you had a good time with, accept it for what it was, and move on.

Strangely enough, I know exactly what you mean. I was in that spot this past April.

And Lily has a good point.

I'm not one to talk about personal things on here...but tonight is different...I just can't figure this out...needed to just throw it out there...see what people thought on here

smart girl.

Eric......ok, I know that I have been through a lot and maybe this is one of them. In a round about way. ok.....after a month....she shouldn't be talking no marriage or kids....2nd bro...I know you are wanting and seeking love badly but you can not do this to yourself over a girl that has lasted only 1 month.No one should make those kinds of long lasting impression type things/decisions in life within only a month. And if you want what you want and she couldn't live with it...then no matter how much you care for her or think you love her.....Miss Right is right around the corner. Depression will run you in this.....unless you decided you are better than this and that you deserve to be happy. And have what YOU want in your life. Making her happy obviously would end up making YOU miserable. What good is that? It happened for the best E.....and rely on your true friends to help pull you through it.And honestly.....she wasn't worth it if she skated pouting wanting her way.....wanna marry a 5 year old? you feel me? I wish the best for you Eric and you know it......I hope I could help

Well then let me tell you what I think Eric...

I think you are one of a kind. Youre a genuinely god person. Who cares about how other people feel and what they think..

if she went into the relationship knowing you did not want more kids and then tried to puch it on you .. thats a no no .. after only a month.. thats a bigger no no.. its easier said then done sometimes babe,. but chalk it up to experience and dive back in.....

E, Malmsteen started off playing the violin, i have know idea where i was going with this but,the violin man,the violin.buddy guy needs to speak with you

Meeska Man, I read most of these. Sorry. I don't think I'd want another kid at 41.
My last was at 33. Sorry man, those 28 year olds still want kids...check out the 35+ yr olds w/kids.
Hang in ther pal.

thanks all for your encouraging words...I need to just lay down and think about this...time to move on

that's the spirit.....it will be ok Eric.

see...I already play the blues...but I just wanted to be able to rip...just in the middle of a blues solo...just let it fly...my guitar...thats what I should do...play

This all will pass, like a big kidney stone.
But it will.
Kids can be a deal breaker.
At 49 I am way done with any more. Lots of women my age are G'ma already !!!!!!!

brother..be happy she didn't get pregnant whether you like it or not. I've seen women do that too many times.....

Man...its just crazy...she liked the same music as me...inspired me to take up classical guitar...I like Yngwie Malmsteen so we would just sit a listen...she could even play alittle guitar herself...I thought I found the perfect match for me
E, Malmsteen started off playing the violin, i have know idea where i was going with this but,the violin man,the violin.buddy guy needs to speak with you

see...I already play the blues...but I just wanted to be able to rip...just in the middle of a blues solo...just let it fly...my guitar...thats what I should do...play

You got da Blues Baby! Rock on

yep ,it is time i may even do a double paradiddle on my drums.

i told my x why i left my other x with a child and i told her i will not put up with fighting and fighting over money 12 years ago before i tied the knot. so now it is 4 years later after i left her.she did give me a child she now is 7.my other daughter is 19. i just dont get it why if you tell someone how it is they still try it.it took me 9 years with this last girl and then wow she was the wife from hell.you are lucky just go to the bar and have one on me

She is 28, right? There is a significant difference in the preferences of a 28 year old in comparison to a 40 year old. She has a natural desire to become a mother and she is at an age that would be great for beginning a family. It's totally usderstandable. She is in the early years, just beginning life really.
40+ is an age in which most of us have been there, done that, we have experience to back our decisions and we know what will work for us and what won't. I agree with Ted. Go for a gal closer to your age range, or at least one who is an experienced parent.
Good luck and keep your chin up.

Feel for ya.

Although it sounds like you two have much in common, obviously you both have different wants. Love can sometimes make you bend a little, but you have to know what you want.... and it sounds like you do. I'm sorry man.

Frankly I'm more concerned about you getting an ultimatum on the subject when you've only been seeing each other for a month. If it wasn't a big enough issue to keep her from dating you, why is it suddenly big enough now? My only possible explanation is that she suddenly began to really get attached and realized she needed to address this now before it got any more serious. But it still does sound crazy to me that this is suddenly an issue.

My heart goes out to you.

Best of luck

You can say things right from the start with someone, and they choose to believe you will change once you are more 'into' them. I think you did the right thing in being honest from the start babe.

You are who you are.

We can't change other people. IF they change their minds it has to be on THEIR own volition, not because we made them, or the situation forced it.

((((((( E )))))))))

"shakes head" Chicks man.