Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain
and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate
ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to
his First Mate, 'Bring me my red shirt!' The First Mate
quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the
captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate
boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among
the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the
lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels
sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but
the captain, calm as ever bellowed, 'Bring me my red
shirt!' And once again the battle was on. However, the
Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties,
though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that
night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign
looked to the Captain and asked, 'Sir, why did you call
for your red shirt before the battle?' The Captain, giving
the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted,
'If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show
the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight
unafraid.' The men sat in silence marveling at the
courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the
lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them,
all with boarding parties on their way. The men became
silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his
usual command.

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my
brown pants!'