Have you ever gotten to the point to where it almost feels like you don't have a heart anymore? Every time you feel like you just need to break down and cry, for some reason you just can't, even if you're just watching a sad movie? Well, this is my story.
Just to get it out of the way, you should know a few things about me. I don't cheat, I don't lie. I do everything and anytthing for my man. I love to take care of him and do things for him that let him know how much I care about and love him.
I've been living with my boyfriend for nearly a year. We found each other on the internet (justsayhi, actually), met up, and things just clicked. He's incredibly sexy, fun to be around, has a pretty good sense of humor...he's wonderful...when he wants to be. But a while back, I found that he messages other woman over the internet and asks them if he can take them out, get together, etc...he tells them how sexy they are, but never compliments me anymore. Even when I take the time to get all dolled up for him. He and one of these chicks had actually make plans to meet up after his bowling league one night and have sex. I do know nothing happened that night. He said it's because his conscience wouldn't let him because of me. I said, "No, it's because she had to babysit that night and couldn't make it. But if she would have, then you would have done it, right?" He really didn't say anything to that. And I found out that other day, that he's trying to get with this same chick again. I confronted him about it and he said he just wants to see if he could, to "stroke his ego" but wouldn't really do anything. He does have a history of cheating on his past girlfriends, but he claims that's because they cheated on him first, but I do know of once where that wasn't the story. He says he hasn't cheated on me and isn't going to. I've asked him how he would feel if I was doing this kind of stuff. He replied that he'd just kick me out. But yet, when I asked him, he said he doesn't feel bad about it. Apologies are WAY out of the question. I find myself clinging to him too much and begging for his attention. He says that he does love me. He also says that he's completely mine, but I just can't believe this. I know this is going to sound pathetic, but I love him too much to want to leave. Every time I try to think about leaving my heart drops into the pit of my stomach. Please, what can I do to save our relationship?

People can only treat us the way we allow them to treat us. Sounds like he needs to make some kind of decision or you do.

Sounds pretty shady... I dont know that I would trust him. You can only call a prince a prince for only so long. If he is a toad its gonna show.

The feeling of the heart dropping to the pit of your stomach is fear...not knowing if you can do it...but believe me, you can...and if you feel he is cheating or trying to cheat...save yourself NOW! Please, I know you love him...but don't ever let anyone put you in second place...don't ever allow anyone to walk on you...I wish you the best Sweety.

I'm sorry you find yourself in such a situation.

Once you start to suspect of a partner cheating chances are he/she is or isn't - simple as that.

You can either drive yourself crazy, make up excuses, excuse behavior or you can remove yourself from the situation. Both hard choices.

Wow. You really need to get the hell out of that relationship, if you can call it that. That guy is a total jerk!!!!!

Please, go get a booster shot of self esteem!!!

You are a victim....don't be a victim. You are being mentally abused and need to recognize that.

Seek professional help if you find you can't resolve the matter by yourself.

Thank you. And you're so right. I just feel like there's something wrong with me. And the way I see it, is all relationships start out good, we all know that. But they never stay that way. I just feel like if I'm not putting up with his crap then I'll just have to be dealing with someone else's crap.

Ohhh honey, everyone has crap, but there is just some crap just not worth putting up with.

I hear what your saying but step back and think that in 6 months that you could find him in your own bed with someone else. Sure sounds that way... and then what??? Still gonna put up with it?

agreed

I vote for NOT PUTTING UP/DEALING with anyone's crap.

Don't do anything about it, just get out of that relationship. he is using you .Believe me , I was in the same situation and I did everything. nothing works.And pleaseeeeeeeeee stop doing things for him.He don't deserve it . Gosh , what's his name ?. Sound like what I have before,,,,,,,,,,,,,

When you do things for your lover that used to make them feel good, and then lately it doesn't, you are gonna get these feelings that you described.

You look pretty for him, and it used to drive him wild. He liked it. Now, he has lost interest. Cause that is the bottom line here. He has lost interest in you and is looking to find something to spark him. He wants to keep you around, cause you are now viewed as a "fall back". If he can't get another girl, he has you to fall back on. Sad, but true. Don't buy the "stroking my ego" line. I'm a guy, and that is total BS. That's just my view anyway.

The best advice I can give you is to get the hell out of that relationship.

Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.

Staying with that man is only going to hurt you more. There are better men out there.

I hear what you're saying. And yeah, I fear that all the time. But something in me still wants to believe him when he said that he's going to stop doing that stuff and that he's not going to cheat on me. I know that prob'ly sounds pathetic. But I just truly believe that some where in him is a good man. He may only be 2 cm tall right now, but...

OK... I think you want to leave and are trying to find reasons to say because you don’t want to be alone. Alone is scary but sitting home knowing they are or could be cheating is worse. Trust me it’s not worth it.

I agree...

Being alone can be a terrible feeling and therefore we stay STUCK because we don't feel that we have choices. BUT, we do!!!!

You don't have to be cheated on or anything else like that. YOU deserve to be treated as lovingly as you treat him, not to be walked on.

I hope you seek help for your self-esteem, take it from someone who knows. You deserve sooo much better than HIM!!!!

It's not like that. We still have fun together, and get along great when I'm not all upset because I'm not sure if he's lying again or not. I just get in these moods where I just don't know if I can trust him and that's when I get all clingy and stuff. And I know that has to be annoying.

Noticing all your posts/responses include YOUR taking the blame, accepting fault, being the fall person.

If it's all your fault what's the problem?

just asking

No, it's not that I don't want to be alone. I have two guy friends that have been trying to get me to leave him for them. One being his twin brother, my best friend. So it's not really that I don't feel I have options. I just really do love this man, with all my heart. Because when there isn't all this drama, things are wonderful.

Ok then...I'm on the outside looking in.
How often is there NO drama? It must not feel too good to you knowing that he wants another woman???