ok i got a Divorce in Dec.2006, my ex left me of 5 yrs back in March
2006 couse he is just a player and cheated on me the whole 5 yrs and he
wanted to go his way so i filed for divorce couse i don't have to live
like that but anyways he has had a girlfriend sence we have been appart
was like with her the very next weekend he left...thats on him but my
question is why not me? I am so ready to be in a good heathy
relationship with a good man i don't understand why my ex "such a loser"
can be so happy and get with someone so fast and me being a nice woman,
i have my head on my sholders and i'm rasing my son alone with no help
from his dad, why am i stell alone and now that i'm ready to date and
posably get into a new relationship there is no one at my door step? i'm
not a skiny girl, but i'm not too big i don't think i look to bad and i
have alot going for me so Why not Me? can anyone explan that to me?

I think you need time to heal from the hurt of the relationship and the
divorce. It is really recent, and you don't want a rebound
relationship. You have a child to raise and he needs you now too, so
you need to take care of yourself and your child and heal the wounds. I
know you are lonely right now and hurt that he jumped right into a
relationship, but that doesn't mean it is a good relationship for him
either.

I would tell you to relax, let yourself heal from the hurt of the
divorce and the betrayal you feel from his cheating, and take care of
your son and give yourself time and someone will come along when the
time is right. There are all kinds of activities out there you can get
involved in to keep you busy, and activities you can do with your child
(you didn't say his age) if he is young he could be feeling abandoned
too and needing extra time, so doing things with him are really
important too. I would say to take your time and relax. There are
great people on here and make yourself some friends.

That is my 2 cents worth.

trust me your not the problem he is...u will find a great guy
lots of them on here!!!!! keep posting...

thinks Marie55 go ideas and i have gotin over the hole divorce thing
thats why i'm asking...now that i am over it and ready to move on why is
there not anyone. I starting to fill like there is something wrong with
me i have friends that whin we do go out guys talk to them sometimes
even as for a dance (not that my friends are takeing them home) but at
lest guys are talking to them i fill like i'm off in a diffrent world
like guys don't see me or something

i'm with you marie. being the guy on the other end, it's been since
dec05 here and it's just getting to the time where i feel like a womans
company. take some time casper, there is no hurry.

Takes time, don't rush it. Need to feel comfortable, maybe you are
feeling self conscious, and who knows, I am not a man, can't answer
that. Just give it time. Make some friends on here, I have made some
incredible friends and value them. Start with friends, and just give it
time. Getting involved too soon tends to be a train wreck waiting to
happen, a rebound. My opinion anyway, have seen it in people around me.

Take care of yourself and enjoy life. Good things will happen if you
give them time.

He will probably not last long with her.. I used to wonder the samething
about my ex, but you know what I learned it did not matter what happened
with him.. It only matters about you.. YOu need to take time for you and
heal and let all the concern about him go... When the time is right for
you it will happen.. And for you hopefully it will last.. Do not rush
into things because you are alone.. get to know you again and find out
who you really are and what you are really looking for..
In the meantime take care of you and do not worry about what he has
compared to you.. It won't matter in a little while..You will be happy
and independent and ready to have the relationship that you want, and
you will be more happy then your ex ever dreamed.. Hang in there and do
not let yourself get down it will happen for you just give it time....

Yeah, it's easy to find the "wrong one" (or a whole series of "wrong
ones"), but you're going to want to take your time and be more selective
and let yourself heal, like Marie said. (She always knows what she is
talking about!)

There are all kinds of good people on this site; if nothing else, you
will always have a friendly ear here, or six or seven, when you need to
talk....and you might even meet somebody special -- it HAS happened here
(and just happened again, in fact)....

eeehh never mind---just wait till i'm clearheaded on this---------hmmmmm

i've been on this site for mths. now and just started doing the
community chat stuff so i guess u can say i'm new at this too i
hope everyone is right about finding new friends on here. everyone so
far seems realy nice and helpful

You need to get into the forums so people see you, that is how they get
to know you, and then you will start to make friends. Your personality
will come through and it will happen.

Take care. Glad you decided to start joining in.

ok and forums? u said and this may sound stuped but whats that?

You are in the forums now, when you just hang back and read, no one sees
you unless they are going through the search process, but when you come
out here and read the forums (like posting this) and you post replies to
other peoples threads, then they see your name and learn more about you
and become familiar with you and you will make lots of friends that way.
It brings you out of the shadows.

The one who will value you will come girl, men are just that men
but one day one will come and lift you off your feet with a single look
and he will love you and you will be happy, just take your
time!!

What have you done in order to meet new men?
Or better yet. Try focusing on what's good in your life. You have a
wonderful son, you don't have to worry about your loser of an ex
anymore! Enjoy life! Don't worry about finding a man. When you are
looking, you never find them. If you start enjoying life, you would be
surprised by how much happier you will be. And men notice happy women.
They want a strong confident woman. So keep your chin up and enjoy
life!
You are still young. You have so much life to live. And realize that
you don't need a man. You may want one, but you don't need one. You
have your little man and he should be the focus of your life.

well i've tryed going out with friends not just to meet new men but just
to get out of the house and hang out with my friends. My son is my life
and i work and do everything i can to make sure he his having the best
life i can give him. and my friends also tell me to stop looking that a
guy will come to me and i have been trying not to look but its hard. my
life has been so mush beter sence my divorce i fill so much beter about
myself couse my ex would live me at home all the time and not spend time
with me and if were were out in public he would walk 10ft in frount of
me couse it look as if we were not togeather...i kind of thinking this
too maybe why i have such a hard time is becouse i rely felt as if
something was wrong with me sence he tryed so hard to play single. maybe
this is why i fill that guys aren't looking my way because i've had a
bad time with men in the past hummmm something to think about

Any guy that would walk 10 feet in front of you is not worth wasting
your time and energy on in the first place. Remember, you are your own
person and your value has nothing to do with what some short-sighted
cheater (or anybody else, for that matter) thinks of you....you have the
right to live your life and be happy. Don't let anyone tell you
otherwise, and don't let anyone try to take that away from you.

The truth is, there are a lot of people (men AND women) who are just
self-absorbed jerks. But they're not ALL like that....

I think you should smile and let you joy full fill the world and then a
good man will decened into your heart

hummmm why not me?

Because you're not wearing the towel, Buttons....!!