A blond pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died."

After he works on in for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, " Just crap in the carburetor."

She asks......"How often do I have to do that?"

A blonde and a brunette are standing in an elevator. They go up a few floors and a gentleman hops in with them, goes up a few floors and gets off.
The brunette then looks to the blonde and says
"That guy needed some head and shoulders"
To which the blonde responds
"How do you give shoulders?"

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?"

"What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes." replied the officer

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher

"Uh... yes." replied the cop.

"Here's what you do." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."

"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"

just returning the

Why was lipstick all over the blond's steering wheel??

She was trying to blow the horn.

what did the pregnant blonde say? Gee I hope it's mine