Okay, at the risk of offending people, I'm going to post this anyway.

Occasionally, I get someone who think's I don't like black people, because I didn't answer a message.

It's probably because the person didn't read my profile and did all the things that will make me delete rather than reply.

But occasionally, it has nothing to do with race or color, but culture.

I don't know if it is just the local area, or the united states, or if this occurs in other countries. But there is the idea around where I'm at that a black guy isn't "being" black if he isn't acting gansta, or talking, living, and behaving as if he grew up in the projects...... Even if he is from the suburbs of some city or another. For a black guy to act in any other manner than the above is for him to be acting "white".

I'm sorry, but I don't have anything in common with the culture that many black guys around here feel they have to portray. The language usage grates on my nerves and I am turned off before I even have the opportunity to get know the person.

The skin color doesn't even matter because I've met white guys who have decided to buy into a certain cultural motif, and I'll have the same reaction.

It is hard to get to know anyone if the first couple of paragraphs of emails, or the first 10 minutes of a conversation, bushes all the wrong buttons and turns a person off.

And I know this isn't an exclusive issue.

I recognize the fact that there are some people out there with whom I might be really compatible but I never hear from them because they see some of my more extreme pictures and that turns them off.

But I figure, I don't want to hide half of who I am. That is part of who I am and I would rather be up front about it than hide it and meet someone and everything is great, and then when the person learns more about me have the person dump me because they don't 'get me' so to speak.

Anyway, felt the need to air that out after a few emails over the last few weeks.

Well...Obama is being portrayed as not " black enough ". So what does that tell you?

It tells me that racism is alive and well in this country, but it also tells me that quite a bit of it is coming from members of the same race.

As far as your " extreme pics ".....if you are referring to some of the ones that I have seen on your profile...

Those were " extreme " ??? LOL

I know what you mean though, and no offense is meant. I have just seen a whole lot more extreme than the pics that you posted.

meh, but the extreme pictures are great!

Occasionally? Does that mean the rest of the time it does have to do with race or color?

Obama is 1/2 white so of course he's not black enough

City kids (of all races) in England are no different. It's bloody pathetic. Get your own culture, kids, stop trying to be American (not that there's anything wrong with being American - just covering my a$$ here )

Yours was a very well written and thoughtful post. This "gangsta" act bothers me too. The thing that drives me crazy are some of the posts and threads you see here on JSH where the english language is barely recognizeable. Maybe the text message culture is causing part of the problem. It seems people can't write or speak in complete sentences anymore and spelling? Forgeddaboudit!

I'm sorry that you experience email like that but I think we all have our preference on who we want to date. I think when we allow what few people of a race do affect how we fell about the rest of race is a mistake. W e need judge each person as an individual. There are good and bad in every race. It your right and privilege to date who you want

With a name like moonDARK, I would have never for one second thought you had anything against people with slightly darker skin tones.

But, if you really like EXTREME, maybe you should try a little "gangsta".

Well from reading this i think you just have a standard regardless of race that you would like to associate with. Because of the glorification of the street life there are some Woman, of many races that are curious about it. I think if you arnt comfortable with certain attitudes, you should continue to let it be known. If they dont like it, Tough Sh1t. YAyaYo

Stereotypes suck period.

I say don't allow the insecurities or generalities of others diminish or question your personal character. Anyone who can't fathom that its unrealistic for everyone to be attracted to the persona they portray is best left to their own devices.

Letting it bother you is akin to questioning your own being, it's definitely not worth in under these circumstances. Why give energy to people who doesn't respect your choice of personal preferences? Be glad that there's a "delete" function for you email and use it gratuitously if necessary.