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| Topic: New infectious disease | |
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New infectious disease sweeps Across the Globe nation.
By Norman Simmons Another new infectious disease is sweeping through the country. Serious, but not usually fatal, Pistoff disease struck down its first victim in Paris, two years after Monsieur Mitterand became President of the Republic. The casual agent, the Pistoff virus is named after its’ discoverer, Francis Pistoff. The first British victims were all doctors working in London teaching hospitals. But, then, the disease spread to members of the health care professions in other parts of the country. Only last week, I made a spot diagnosis in a paediatrician from Austin Texas, who was delivering a symposium. His long face, slow speech and generally depressed demeanour, signs that I had seen in many of my colleagues, were clear evidence of infection. A colleague from an American hospital, who was sitting next to me at the time, confirmed the diagnosis. ‘Pistoff?’ I asked. He nodded in agreement. For those of you who live in a sheltered environment, and who may be therefore unfamiliar with the condition, here is a short description of it taken from POTTED POX, Sam’s textbook of infectious diseases, which contains everything you need to know to pass the exam. Definition: Pistoff disease is an infection which is transmitted from man to lower forms of animals commonly found in large historic buildings. The animals are not usually adversely affected by the agent, although they may occasionally show signs of paranoia. Epidemiology: Healthy animals may produce large amounts of dangerous materials. Most victims contract the infection from paper. In a person already suffering from the disease further contact with the source of their troubles may severely exacerbate the symptoms. Clinical features: The incubation period may be prolonged, but it is shortest in people who open envelopes and read the contents. Doctors, who have worked in the Health Service for a long time, may have high levels of immunity, but even their defences may be overwhelmed. The onset is insidious. At best, patients may feel reasonably comfortable at home and symptoms may only appear on their arrival at their place of work. Later, however, the symptoms become persistent. The presenting feature is usually depression. Any mention of Health Service finance causes a headache, nausea, vomiting and a pain in the neck. As yet, there is no effective treatment, or sign of a cure.  
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I have contracted the disease myself after getting stitches in my left hand. The bill for 17 minutes of ne doctors work was $580. I was Pistoff when I opened the envelope
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paybacks are always a b!tch !!!! 
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