If an ex felt they owed you something now to make up for a shortcoming they have guilt over in your relationship...would you accept it as long as they were well aware that it would not change anything now?

Just how far do you go to allow them closure and a clear conscience?

Would you consider it taking advantage of them to accept their offer if you would benefit greatly from it?

Forgiving means that any debt is paid in full. I would forgive an ex...but would not accept anything from him.

If it was truly owed to me, it wouldn't be taking advantage. If the person really did need to make amends, I would allow them to. If it were a ploy to get back together, I would not.

I would not take advantage of the person; I try not to do that in general.

I'm going through that now...well I'm well over it, but as for her...not so much. We broke up months and months ago, my B day was over a week ago, and she insists to see me to give me a b day gift. I explained that I did not need anything....hmm...would that be stalking or breaking some sort of county law? Anyway, I am insistant that I do not receive it as it is a way to not give her closure because it creates some sort of false hope despite the fact that she says it has nothing to do with it...

It could be they are trying to clean off their side of the street. And thats cool. It helps them move on. But accept no strings.

The guilt belongs to them and therefore it is their responsibility to work it out on their own.

When someone has wronged me, I do not feel it is my job to make them feel better.

In regard to accepting a gift that would greatly benefit me, no thanks. I prefer to make my own way threw life and that "gift" will come at a price.

just have them mail it to a PO Box...and you can pick it up at your leisure....or

park the Benz on the street and put the keys under your doormat....either way should be ok

at any given time after the fireworks, one or the other , who originally thought they had nothing to be forgiven for,comes to find that they need a sense of fogiveness from one they have hurt.
This is suprising "normal" and it is a good thing to offer that relief to move on. It is not, however necessary. If you are at peace with your end of it all,there is no need to allow yourself to be dragged back into reliving anything.
Gotta go with your own Heart and spirit.

JMO

AMEN JMO!

I agree with you ((Sparkle)). I think if an ex feels a need to right a wrong, they should be allowed to clear their conscience. I would want someone to allow me that too.

that is because you are a good person.

I would not accept a Birthday gift either...but if my ex broke my bike, I would not refuse him having it fixed if he offered. As long as the breakup was not about the broken bike ...and otherwise you were on good terms, would you let them take your bike to the shop? It's really more along those lines.

Aww...thanks so much. The best thing about this place is making quality friends.

that was what I meant by something that was truly owed. If they borrowed money, or broke something of yours and wanted to make reparation now, I would have no problem with it.

It they treated you like crap and now wanted to buy you lavish gifts to ease their conscience, I would pass. You can't buy forgiveness.

f that..whats done is done..let it be gone..ive reall tried to learn that...its hard

A sincere apology is all it takes to get my forgiveness.