I see alot of threads like that. Where somone will ask, would you date somone Etc etc.

My Question is, for those that seen how some will say they won't date some with a child. What would you think the reson is? and ill give my opinion latter.


Some of you said it already, I was thinking, othere then somone being worried about being secon or dealing with the ex and all the other stuff people might say.

I was thinking, how many people are really ready to even have a child or to even know how to deal with somone that has one. What i mena by dealing with. Is having that understanding, that love, the exceptance of a child in there life. And being on here and watching how some persent themselves. Not just on the forum, but most seen to not even know how to take care of themselves, so how could they even think about a child. So for the women on here that have a child that is not grown up. it's going to be harder to find a man that can actually be there and take on the responcibility of even wanting to take care of a child.

The other thing that was going through my head, how many women that don't put there child first and how they end up going through man after man and wonder why some don't want to date them.

well i wont if they live real far away

Most parents are good parents and will put the childs needs and/or wants ahead of the relationship and some people don't like being second in someones life no matter who the first is.

if the guy had a attitude and abusive problem and was stuck on himself and only thought of him and no one else.. thats a big turn off for me... and doesnt respect himself, then he wouldnt respects others

and has to accept my children and grandkids and if not then he can hit the high road

Are you asking why some won't date people with children? If so, my thought is they are not ready for the responsibility or they've already raised their kids and don't want to do it again. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that. Better to know yourself well enough to know it's not what's right for you, then to hurt everyone when it inevitably ends.

If I am going to date a women with children, I know they have to come first. I cool with that, if they dont come first I might be wary.

At my age most women are going to have children.

The last thing I want to do is to come between them.

Ditto, I agree with this for most that don't want to either don't want kids or have already raised theirs and just got their freedom. Therefore they are not ready to give it up so soon. Instead they are wanting to put more time in a relationship instead into working around kids.

I think that some individuals will not date other people whom have children b/c they themselves are (1) are not ready to be parents, (2) don't want to deal with the added stress of other people's ex's (3) know that they will not be able to 'love' the child as their own or (4) they don't want to share someone that already has children.

jmo.

The most difficult "circle" to get into is the "circle" between a parent and their children. People with children all too often have issues later on with a new mate and their actions as a step-parent. Plus, the kids often resent the step-parent because they either long for their real parents getting back together or they resent another person telling them what to do.

Like it or not new step-parents will feel treated as "outsiders" to the family "circle". Few get past this feeling and this becomes a major cause of failure in second marriages. I won't say it's impossible, but it is darn near that way.

I look at it as just a choice, a preference, based on experiences from my past. Tried it, got some sort of peripheral understanding of what all was involved, and decided it wasn't for me. People tell me "Well, you know it limits your options," and that's true, but I'm OK with that. I'm at the point where I have some idea of what does and doesn't work for me.

i dont like to date guys with kids because i dont like kids, and i dont want any

Very well put myself my kids are grown now I was never looking for them another Dad they had one. I had a step-mom and life is not always easy when bringing another into your life when kids are involved.

But since mine are grown it is time for me now. But I would still consider a man with kids at home. I have been there done that and do try to understand. But to me the kids should come first and a man that does not do that would have me wondering about them.

But regardless it is best for each to know what they want in a relationship and don't want. We all have a preference of what we want and should stick with it.

Some of you said it already, I was thinking, othere then somone being worried about being secon or dealing with the ex and all the other stuff people might say.

I was thinking, how many people are really ready to even have a child or to even know how to deal with somone that has one. What i mena by dealing with. Is having that understanding, that love, the exceptance of a child in there life. And being on here and watching how some persent themselves. Not just on the forum, but most seen to not even know how to take care of themselves, so how could they even think about a child. So for the women on here that have a child that is not grown up. it's going to be harder to find a man that can actually be there and take on the responcibility of even wanting to take care of a child.

The other thing that was going through my head, how many women that don't put there child first and how they end up going through man after man and wonder why some don't want to date them.

There is nothing wrong in making a choice, but what i did see that you said. is you tried it and found out it wasn't for you. I can respect that.

That was an honest anser and thank you. I say this, because there are women that will get involved in a relationship and get married and tell there other latter that they never wanted kids. it happen to me and a few prople i know. So thank you for being honest

Well my kids never met anyone I dated till at least 2-3 months later. My kids had a Dad and they did not need men in and out of their lives. Heck I dated one guy for 12 years he was in the same situation I was in and wanted to spend the extra time with his kids. We never lived together but we all did do things together. But we put our kids first.

Just went different ways in the end but still friendly with each other to this day.

After my divorce,I raised 5/boys on my own,all the guys that I dated,didn't want to raise someone else kids,They just wanted Sex and That was it.I always put my kids first.It takes a very special man to take and raise someone kids and love them as his own.

Shadow...

This is my priorities in my life which I am sure some are going to disagree.... at this point...

I am first: my education, future career, getting myself in a place where I will be financial comfortable (now this doesn't mean partying, leaving my child with people for days etc, most of the time I am dragging my son to places hoping that he behaves)

My son is second. Only in the fact that when it comes down to writing a paper or spending all afternoon cuddling with my son; I have to make that choice to do the paper first.

Now I am currently talking with someone and have plans to meet him very soon. My son will also be meeting him. We have talked about how my son fits into everything, what would happen if we got married and had children. I think that the thing that is most striking to me about the person that I am talking with is that he stated 'when I told you that I loved you, I was also saying that I loved your son.' This is important. I also think that its important that women, put themselves first (not their boobs or naughty places, but their whole selves) This means only entering into a relationship where the man is going to respect them and their children.

I firmly believe that when you get married (taking religion out of the equation) that the marriage comes first. Partly because when you take care of the marriage and make it a healthy one that makes for a healthy family. Children need to see more healthy, 'normal' relationship. I know that my parents are the example of what not to do in marriages (yes multiple marriage for both) However, my grandparents are my example of what a healthy marriage looks like.


again jmo.