Why is it everytime a man express himself about these issues, he had to be take for a ride. I am one of the guys that got out with something. i understood the business side. Even for a so call person that doesnt have much to lose, should protect their future. You wonder why so many people are heart broken, and broke. You cant keep starting over with nothing. I believe in all the feeling of love, but real life is a bit*h sometimes, so you better have something to get thru the tough times

Understand.
I just look at it a little different.
I am divorced once also.

Brian, Please explane how your child will protect themselves when they are in a relationship that doesnt have that piece of paper and there is a child involved? Would you want the father of that child to take off and leave your daughter to the raising of that said child all to your daughter? How is her a&& covered then? Are you going to step up and help her? Are you saying that he should just be able to leave without any backward glance? People now a day sign a contract to buy a car, cell phone and so many other things. Why wouldnt you do that for a marriage?

And I am not mad or picking on you, I feel bad that you were hurt like this also. I just want to know how you see them covering their a&&es? Capishe?

I have been divorced twice and never got alimony. I did get child support but believe me, raising a child cost way more than what he had to pay. More than twice as much, so he didn't even contribute half. And he never had to lose time from work for illnesses, doctor appointments, etc. He had time to re-marry. I haven't even had time to date.

ok so you wernt hurt, I type to slow

that's a good idea on so many levels.

One, i was not hurt like this, or that.
Once you child becomes an adult you cant do anything about what they do. If they are willing to listen, and do the right things the right way, then you can help give them the right advice, to try to keep them out of trouble. If they choose to do it the non traditional way then you can help them understand the pitfalls of doing it that way. If a scumbag guy, or woman is going to walk away, they are going to walk away. You just have to make sure you have something tucked away for that day. If it happens.

Ahhh I see now, keep secrets from your partner. Hummm, isnt that a form of lying? OK, lets get married and lie to each other from the begining. And are you truly telling me that if your child is walked away from that you wouldnt want the other person held responsible for his or her actions? IE leaving the child behind that they created together? Should your child be the only one to raise that child and use up all his or her financial hidden savings? Cause this is only about money? True?

Are you going to stop doing things because you fear there is a possibility of something happening?

I think you are looking at it onee sided. Two people should be responsible for raising thier child.
Of course its not ok to walk away from your responsibilities.
Its not just about money.
But, if you dont look out for yourself. If it means putting some money away without your spouse knowing, then fine. You may have good reason for not being able to tell them.
If you are going to be a Family, you must take care of each other.
But, dont forget to take care of yourself.
I am not smat enough to say it any better

So, what happens when your spouse finds out? Are you going to say "oh.. i was just saving up in case we got divorced."

Someone I know once posed the question, "If money doesn't buy happiness then why are people so miserable when they don't have enough of it?" An unfortunate truth of our world is that so much of our lives is ruled by money. ¿Is it about money? No...but that money holds our lives together and helps secure the future of our children (I don't have any but maybe one day). Look at the number of single parents out there, marriage obviously isn't doing that fantastic of a job of keeping parents together. If people want to walk out they're going to walk out.




Some things yes, I need to take care of myself above all others. Better safe than sorry.

I have never been married.

Do I want to be ummm maybe.
Take care of my child.....I sure am no help from the father.

I just know that I have seen good marriages and
bad marriages and right now I am at the age where marriage is not my number one priority.

I come and go as I want do I miss having that other half to share it with sometimes. Don't need the pictures or the wedding ring to have a good relationship with someone.

Marriage is your choice I have always wanted that bond but just never got to have it.

I would call it the "Rainy Day Fund."

Thats Silly. If your Spouse sees that you are taking care of your resposibilities, and you can save money, for a rainy day, they should be proud of that. Its a fund for whatever happens. You should just make sure your the one thats saving it.

I'd find it hard to enjoy life if I was constantly worrying that something might happen.

I am glad to see that someone, knows, that if you dont take care of yourself, you cant take of others

So why hide it from them? You were talking about doing it without them knowing.

there is no worry,if you do what needs to be done. Just think ahead a little. this way you dont wake up one day and say, What the Hell happen

i said if you cant tell them, you may have a good reason for doing it that way. Some people cant stand to let money just sit. they have to find something to spend it for