theres this wino right and he gets on the city buss and hes wlaking back to find a seat and notices this great looking nun so hes sits a couple of seats behinde her and the buss takes off and the wino keeps eyballing this nun and the buss driver notices this in his mirror so after few stops the nun gets off and the buss driver calls the wino to the front to talk to him he says hey i notciced you checking tht nun out ....id bet youd like some of tht huh? the wino says yeah you bet i do so the buss driver says im gonna tell you how you can hook up with her he says i drop tht nun off at the cemetary every tuesday at 900 am and she prays over her dead fathers grave he says i bet if you dess up lke god and hide by the grave i bet you could hit it so he gives it a try he gets one of those long white robes some gold dust and a white beard and dresses up like god and hides by the grave at about 830 and 9 o clock rolls around and in comes tht nun he jumps out and ssays ooooooooo im am god and she takes it hook line and sinker and start bowing before him m he says if you wan tto see your father again you must have sex with me she says i cant i took an oath to you god tht i would never have sex but i reallly want to seee my dad again so i suppose anal sex would be ok so the wino says alright and starts doing the nun on the ground and just as hes about to nut he rips off the coustume and says hahahaha im the wino the nun rips her cloths off and says hahaha im the buss driver.........

can you condense that into a couple of sentences for me?

Sure.. Into one Word, even..Skridfleermaknarsneeblobsky

THE WINO GOT MUD ON HIS TURTLE..THE END,,HEE-HEE