DSLs

Awww

We're not all like that, I promise

Bewbs

she had pretty green eyes you could get lost in.

The weiner.................

Honestly, my ex was a good guy and his heart was in the right place but he was too into playing with his cars to spend time playing with me

Wow, this is hard.....20 years of marriage and I can't think of a thing...... ok, my son is great. And he knew how to cook on the grill

Ya know...I am kinda surprised by some of the responses here. In a way, anyhow.

I see people saying stuff like " not a thing ", but yet....you wound up with that person for a ( sometimes ) long period of time. There wasn't one special thing they did a special way or a look they would give you that kept you there?

I am not trying to pry. Even though it may sound that way. I am just a bit curious about what kept people together considering all the bad things that made them an ex.

Could it all boil down to " It was the best I could do at the time. "?

I think it comes down to the fact that when someone is an abuser they lead you to believe they are the best you can do. I've been in a relationship like that. I know that he's the reason I'm so skiddish of men, fearing they'll all turn into that kind of person. I will even go so far as to say even the man who abused me wasn't an awful person, he was just immature and selfish. I forgave him a long time ago, simply because he's yet to forgive himself for how he treated me.

The first one had a good sense of humor .

Treated me well, just had a problem with straying and not being honest about his past.

You know...I have never been able to figure out what kind of mind wiring it would take for a guy to think it's ok to abuse a woman.

The one ex of mine that I have made reference to here and in other posts was extremely abusive at time, both verbally and physically. Of course, later on I found out that it was Bi Polar disease, which sort of makes it not really her fault. But during the time I was with her, when she was having a " rough patch ", there were times when if ANY woman ever deserved a punch in the mouth, it probably would have been her. But never once did I raise a hand to her. Push her to get her the hell off me? Yeah. Never actually tried to hit her though.

I just don't get how somone could think hitting a woman is ok in ANY situation.

I have heard that as well. An abuser is VERY good at letting you know that you can't do any better.

It will take time for you to truly realize that we aren't all like that.

Bi polar is not an excuse, either. In the old days, there were no meds to "fix" abusive behavior. Nothing like a good a$$ whoopin to straighten some things out!(out behind the woodshed, barn, etc.)

Well..she didn't GET the meds until after we split. While we were together, she absolutely refused to see a doc about her behavior because she didn't think there was anything wrong with her.

To me using BiPolar as an excuse is the same as using PMS as an excuse. If you think there is something out of balance you should try a little harder to act right. One of my close friends uses PMS as an excuse to be a complete b!tch to her boyfriend and even I get tired of it. If you know what is wrong, its not an excuse, its a reason to try harder. I get PMS too...lol, but the second I realize thats why I'm moody I put myself in check and go on with life. If she was sure there was nothing wrong with her she should have tried harder to control herself. Hard I know, but denial doesn't help. Abuse in any form is NOT okay, no matter who's doing the abusing.

he always wanted to talk things out.. very good at communication

Well..Bi Polar is a bit different than PMS because ( as far as I know ) PMS is due to hormone imbalances which wreaks havoc on a woman's body.

Bi Polar is due to a chemical imbalance inside the brain. I don't think someone who is actually Bi Polar can just " straighten up and act right ". That imbalance needs to be treated so that the chemicals can be vorught back to the levels they need to be.

I do agree that abuse in any form is wrong no matter who is doing it. The fact that she denied that anything was wrong was something that caused a lot of conflict between her and I.

I tried that. Then I was told that I was " talking down " to her....lol