OOOOOH baby......hit me again with that lightening!!

I got struck by lightening too.
Sometimes it is worth the risk
((((((((Fairy))))))))

I almost got involved in one...but changed my mind simply because I am getting a "so so" attitude from her on all this. I can't justify paying money to fly to her and stay in a hotel either just for a "maybe".

I think I've been jaded on women in my own hometown because I either see women I'm not attracted to, or many many headcases. However, I won't give up. I think I more need to find someone local as opposed to even thinking long distance...not unless the girl is going to make an effort to see me more and show me real interest as opposed to a "passing fancy" interest.

I've done well with LDR's. I've had them in NYC (a couple) Boston, WI, Chicago, Las Vegas yada yada

I like my space ..

"I can't justify paying money to fly to her and stay in a hotel either just for a "maybe".
"


WOW! So what if when you met you or her just didn't feel that same thing you felt online??? How can you expect to a "SURE" thing when you havn't even looked into each others eyes??? This really befuddles me!!!

I was in the Navy when I met my ex, and we lasted 15 years. You can't get more long distance then halfway around the world in the middle of the ocean.

No one lives near me either hun.. Im WAAAAAAAAAY out in the middle of nowhere kansas

I know exactly what you mean & yet i am soooo guilty of LDRs.....i don't think i'll ever learn.........

I went and met her in person last August. At that time we seemed to connect really well in person, but since that it's become reluctance or hot and cold on her part. She's talked of coming to visit me, but never followed through on them, and even when I talk of coming to see her, I get a "ok whatever" vibe out of it.

Personally, I think she's iffy on LDR because she's done one once and it went bad for her, plus she's more focused right now on getting some career certifications and starting her own business.

Not faulting her or dissing her, but I think the idea of a boyfriend, be it local or long distance isn't anything important in her mind now, hence why I can't justify spending money to go see her when she's more being a big "maybe" on us.

It's like trying to continue pursuing and even dating someone you can clearly tell isn't totally into you anymore or he/she has some barriers to getting close to someone. You're only wasting your time and in the end you need to see "more" out of this person to justify spending time, money, and energy on them.

Some say "persistence pays off", but I'm not going to push and work to "convince" someone to be with me. It's got to come more natural and desired.

Totally makes sense to me. And it's because I went through three of these in 2006, and you're right, the IDEA superseded the reality in every case.

And the reality, in all three cases, was pretty morbid....

I would never even think about another LDR.

You hit the nail on the head when you said most long distance relationships, especially ones formed online where you have never met, are more about the idea than the reality. Relationships take personal connections, and you just can't get the genuine thing online. People have time to spin themselves however they want and there is nothing in front of you to balance it out.

I was in a long distance relationship for 5 years.....even ended up marrying him. They do take alot of trust...which we both had, and we seen each other every couple of months...he in california and I in canada. Plane tickets? maybe $300 return.....not a biggie for us but it could be a problem for others.

Makes perfect sense. There are simply too many unknowns to have to deal with, and any one of them could potentially throw a serious monkey wrench in the works.

There's also the whole economic side to LDRs, too- with fuel prices being the way they are now, you could easily blow up to a grand (even more in some cases) in trying to meet someone. That'd be a pretty big hit to take should you go somewhere to meet your LDR, only to find that you aren't compatible or even borderline hate each other.

It's a shame, though- I've met a number of rather nice ladies here that I'd have no trouble wanting to see, but the whole LDR thing sort of hampers things.

Have to agree with you.

I find there are the will nots and the will dos.......I'll take a will do over a will not!!! And thats not to say these people dont think about the consequences. I just decided there is only one life to live and you better make it positive or you will be stuck for a very long time!

I got struck by lightning as well

At certain "levels" in my life, I would not have considered a LDR. Kids, career, other factors,,,

But I do think the 'key" in ANY relationship is committment. If you make it, a few hundred miles shouldn't break it.

AND,,,if your committed, it shouldn't be long distance for long. At least for me

I wanna be WITH the person I love. Thats HUGE because I LOVE where I live. But I would move if it meant being a "we".

I don't consider it a real relationship if you haven't met the person jmo