My daughter called me yesterday. Which she does every day after she gets home from school. She wanted to talk to me and find out if the baby was ok for me during the morning when she is at my house.

Out of the blue she goes to me. " Well, Mom. I just got off the phone with family court. " I was like uhm What?!" She told me that she called because she had questions she wanted answers to so that when she talks to her Dad she knows what she is up against.

The thing is, She wants to come to live at my house for the summer and maybe longer. I have absolutely no problem with it. My doors are always open to my kids day or night no matter what. The problem is my ex. The last time she told him that she wanted to come and live with me he told her that if she tried he would take me to court and blah blah blah. Which again, I have no problems with. But he made her feel guilty and made it look like I could get in trouble. Which I can't. Yes, I would have to go to court. But my children are worth it to me. Besides which. She is 16. She is old enough to chose who she wants to stay with as long as they can provide the care she needs. Not to mention that she has a 2 month old baby of her own.

I was just blown away because she took the initiative to actually make the call. While I am all for her staying with me. I guess I was just amazed that she would think to do something like that.

Dang! Dad sounds possessive and still mean.
I'm glad you can afford to go back to court if needed. A lot of people can't afford blackmail. Sounds like your daughter is really growing up.

I was told that when I was 14 that I could choose to live with my dad or mom by my dad who had custody of me. I was kind of like a human yoyo between the two. It is kind of like that line from 'The Little Mermaid' where Sebastian says to King Titus that children got to grow up to make their own mind. I paraphrased that.

I really believe he has to think of her feelings. I mean she maybe only 16 but she is a MOTHER. Besides, he should be thinking about the fact that his 16 year old is a mother and what would be best for her and the child.

Yep, thats the thing too. I know he loves his kids. I know he does. BUT! My oldest daughter has the responsibility of running his house, cooking, cleaning, laundry and she's expected to do all that and take care of her daughter and the kids there and keep up with school. It's to much! I've told him as much but he doesn't listen.

See, its a strange situation. When we split up we let the kids choose where they wanted to live rather than put them through a court battle which is just ugly for everyone. 3 of the kids live with my ex and 2 live with me. According to the agreement he was to stay in the same town and keep the kids in the same school. He violated both those agreements by moving to a different town and changing schools.( A few towns over, a 20 minute drive ) I talked with the kids at the time that he did this to see how they felt about it. And at first they were ok with it. Now they are not. And I know when my oldest daughter comes here it wont be long after that the younger two will want to follow. I have no problems with it. But I just know its going to be ugly. Because he will hold a grudge against them for chosing to come live with me and he will ignore them. The sad thing is the kids know it too and don't want their Dad to get mad at them.

Who is going to do the running of the his house, cooking, cleaning, laundry when she comes to live with you?

he's going to have to. Or he'll push it off onto one of the other kids. Unfortunately.

It's awesome that your daughter is taking the iniative. I'm guessing she tired of being an indentured servant. Good Luck !

thanks. She's a strong minded girl.

Just keep doing what your doing and that is letting your daughter know your there for her. And if she is anything like you, when she is ready she will let you know