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Topic: please do not be brutal
Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:56 PM
I felt like writing a poem today. I have not written one since seventh grade. So please do not be too brutal when you critique it.
You glance from across the room

Your heart is in a box

The key nowhere in sight

My heart is on my sleeve

As it always is.

You clutter my mind with hope.

Hope that is originated from lies.

You watch as I crash to the end

Your heart is in a box

You do not feel a thing.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:57 PM
flowerforyou

Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:59 PM

flowerforyou

THank you:Dflowerforyou

Tankk's photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:59 PM
flowerforyou flowerforyou I wish I could be that creative when it comes to the written word!

no photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:59 PM
I like it. You should do more.


hikerchick's photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:59 PM
Edited by hikerchick on Sat 05/03/08 04:00 PM
Your poem is beautiful and moving in its starkness.flowerforyou

I have never seen harshness here in the poetry forum.

Lalani's photo
Sat 05/03/08 03:59 PM
NICEflowerforyou

MirrorMirror's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:01 PM
flowerforyou good jobflowerforyou

pilgrimandpagan's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:02 PM
spiffy

Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:03 PM
Thank you so much:D!

no photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:03 PM
Bearifically beautiful sweetheart.I:heart:'d it.My fingertips kept hovering over the keys because I was nearly compelled to add upon it.laugh I know,don't U dare.laugh Beautiful write dear.Godspeed!Cy
flowerforyou :wink: flowerforyou drinker :smile:

s1owhand's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:07 PM
your heart is on your sleeve
that is where it belongs
i know because it is familiar
and warm and open

susceptible through the ease
with which it may be touched
boundlessly free
to love without restraint

:heart: (((Amanda))) thank you for sharing with us :heart:

irad8you's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:07 PM
awesome

Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:08 PM

your heart is on your sleeve
that is where it belongs
i know because it is familiar
and warm and open

susceptible through the ease
with which it may be touched
boundlessly free
to love without restraint

:heart: (((Amanda))) thank you for sharing with us :heart:

Thank you so much. That was beautiful:)!

Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:08 PM

Bearifically beautiful sweetheart.I:heart:'d it.My fingertips kept hovering over the keys because I was nearly compelled to add upon it.laugh I know,don't U dare.laugh Beautiful write dear.Godspeed!Cy
flowerforyou :wink: flowerforyou drinker :smile:

Thank youflowerforyou

Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:08 PM

awesome

Thanks!

joshyfox's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:10 PM
Don't be a wimp about it. "Please don't be brutal" is a door to let jerks in to be brutal. It's usually better for you to just take whatever they can throw at you and more importantly to believe in your accomplishments.

That's all I have to say, I don't know anything helpful about poetry.

Dreamer01's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:14 PM

Don't be a wimp about it. "Please don't be brutal" is a door to let jerks in to be brutal. It's usually better for you to just take whatever they can throw at you and more importantly to believe in your accomplishments.

That's all I have to say, I don't know anything helpful about poetry.

That's true. As I haven't written poetry for years, I was not confident in myself; thus, the headline, "please do not be brutal". Is there a way to change the headline?

AngelMapper's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:18 PM
its a beautifull poem, its from the heart and thats what counts!

hikerchick's photo
Sat 05/03/08 04:24 PM


Don't be a wimp about it. "Please don't be brutal" is a door to let jerks in to be brutal. It's usually better for you to just take whatever they can throw at you and more importantly to believe in your accomplishments.

That's all I have to say, I don't know anything helpful about poetry.

That's true. As I haven't written poetry for years, I was not confident in myself; thus, the headline, "please do not be brutal". Is there a way to change the headline?


I hadn't written poetry since High School but I posted in here one day and now I am hooked. These people are an amazingly welcoming audience and I love them more each day. You will too!

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