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| Topic: please do not be brutal | |
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I felt like writing a poem today. I have not written one since seventh grade. So please do not be too brutal when you critique it.
You glance from across the room Your heart is in a box The key nowhere in sight My heart is on my sleeve As it always is. You clutter my mind with hope. Hope that is originated from lies. You watch as I crash to the end Your heart is in a box You do not feel a thing. |
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THank you:D
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I wish I could be that creative when it comes to the written word!
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I like it. You should do more.
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Edited by
hikerchick
on
Sat 05/03/08 04:00 PM
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Your poem is beautiful and moving in its starkness.
I have never seen harshness here in the poetry forum. |
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NICE
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good job
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spiffy
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Thank you so much:D!
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Bearifically beautiful sweetheart.I
 'd it.My fingertips kept hovering over the keys because I was nearly compelled to add upon it. I know,don't U dare. Beautiful write dear.Godspeed!Cy
  
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your heart is on your sleeve
that is where it belongs i know because it is familiar and warm and open susceptible through the ease with which it may be touched boundlessly free to love without restraint (((Amanda))) thank you for sharing with us
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awesome
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your heart is on your sleeve that is where it belongs i know because it is familiar and warm and open susceptible through the ease with which it may be touched boundlessly free to love without restraint (((Amanda))) thank you for sharing with us
Thank you so much. That was beautiful:)! |
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Bearifically beautiful sweetheart.I 'd it.My fingertips kept hovering over the keys because I was nearly compelled to add upon it. I know,don't U dare. Beautiful write dear.Godspeed!Cy
Thank you
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awesome Thanks! |
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Don't be a wimp about it. "Please don't be brutal" is a door to let jerks in to be brutal. It's usually better for you to just take whatever they can throw at you and more importantly to believe in your accomplishments.
That's all I have to say, I don't know anything helpful about poetry. |
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Don't be a wimp about it. "Please don't be brutal" is a door to let jerks in to be brutal. It's usually better for you to just take whatever they can throw at you and more importantly to believe in your accomplishments. That's all I have to say, I don't know anything helpful about poetry. That's true. As I haven't written poetry for years, I was not confident in myself; thus, the headline, "please do not be brutal". Is there a way to change the headline? |
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its a beautifull poem, its from the heart and thats what counts!
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Don't be a wimp about it. "Please don't be brutal" is a door to let jerks in to be brutal. It's usually better for you to just take whatever they can throw at you and more importantly to believe in your accomplishments. That's all I have to say, I don't know anything helpful about poetry. That's true. As I haven't written poetry for years, I was not confident in myself; thus, the headline, "please do not be brutal". Is there a way to change the headline? I hadn't written poetry since High School but I posted in here one day and now I am hooked. These people are an amazingly welcoming audience and I love them more each day. You will too! |
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