Oh, that's a little different that what I was hearing from you earlier. As long as history doesn't repeat itself, there might be a chance, but to expect commitment from someone who hasn't provided evidence of prior commitments might be a bit too much to expect. Putting some space between the two of you for a time is wise. Turns out you had your own answer. Imagine that.

Does that work? (I doubt it)

What else would a married man be in it for?

You deserve better than this. His kids deserve better than this. His wife deserves better than this. If he did it to her, what makes you think he will treat you any better? GET OUT NOW.

That'd be my luck- to start having ladies want to get in my pants AFTER I up and get married. Talk about a tragic bit of irony there.

i bet him and his wife wasnt seperated for a year in a half..

Honest advise would be to find someone single to be with, ALL MARRIED MEN AND WOMAN are off limits. Least to me because I don't share very well.

Also be prepared for when it's done to you.

Its early, I havent even had my coffee yet, let me just tell you this..Hes married 9 years, youve been having an affair for a year and a half...You fell in love, ..First thing.. he more then likely will NOT leave his wife for you.If he did , how could you ever trust him not to cheat on you?? Once a cheater always a cheater...Big mistake

They're "safe". Chances are, they aren't leaving their wives - so if you have fear of genuine, full, emotional intimacy or commitment, you don't have to worry with someone like this. Maybe the thrill is in the challenge or the chase for you. You think you may eventually "heal" him or lure him away from his "unfit" partner. Who is deluding who here.

Its not real till its real. You won't really know where you stand, where he stands, or whom either of you is emotionally in relation to the other till you are both single and available in EVERY way. Funny how the stark light of reality changes things.

What should you do? That is only your decision to make. However, I do think it is WRONG if not all parties consent and know (unless they choose not to know) about extramarital relationships. I don't date married or separated men knowingly.

Sadly, for some women (and I hesitate to call them women), it just might.

Happens all the time. Some males and females only want what they think they cannot have. Then, when they get it, suddenly it loses all interest and appeal and they move on to the next "prey". The thrill is in the chase. Fear of intimacy, fear of commitment, fear of boredom, poor self-esteem, there are many reasons why it happens. Who it hurts is the children of these couples....and the partners that neither consent or know about it.

Wish I could say otherwise, but do you really think that people who condone or collude in this BEFORE will be any different later - if it has been a life-long pattern? I think not.

He wants the fun, the pseudo closeness, the sex, without the emotional accountability or responsibility, is what he wants. And, I have to wonder if maybe you are afraid of genuine mature love, yourself - for your own unique reasons. Think about it.

WORD.

the bottom line is that he is still married. still married means just that. if you are really serious about this guy wait until he is FREE. my opinion only but if he is seeing you and still married he must have forgot his wedding vows. he will also forget them when you are with him if you ever are.

w/tony

ALL MARRIED PEOPLE ARE AND SHOULD REMAIN OFF LIMITS

(((((FRAN))))

{{{tony}}}

just to further expand, when a couple exchange vows they are promising to share/begin/continue a life together.

at no time did/does(least I hope not) do the vows include an escape clause; feel free to share yourself with another.

If you have problems (most marriages do) fix them, and move on. Do not go outside of the marriage to find happiness.

JMO

you don't find happiness outside the marriage. you just create another problem. first you have to be happy with yourself

and respect your partner! most people are truly selfish in only thinking of themselves, once you're married you're a couple.

there is no honor/love/respect for a partner is the other shares his/herself with another. seeks fulfillment outside the marriage.

again JMO

I believe the type of person that thinks it is fair and okay to do this with married folk is also the type that will seek out someone who is not married but in a monogamous/committed relationship. What some people forget is that not everyone who chooses to be exclusive and committed to one another believes in marriage. So, just saying to yourself - "there's no marriage certificate yet, so they are fair game for me" is a cop-out - an easy way to justify bad morals and values, imo.

Same goes for those in monogamous/committed relationships (married or not) who allow singles or other marrieds to approach them to strike up a flirtation or relationship of any kind with them outside of purely platonic friendship.... Just because there is no marriage certificate doesn't mean you are fair game and it is "okay" IF your significant other neither knows or condones your behavior.

It is all self-delusion and a way to pacify yourself that you aren't doing anything wrong or harmful. Get real. You ARE.

Good news....it has all ended for good :)
I am happy! Its for the best!

Thanks to everyones advice!