I was in a horrible marriage, and I don't know how to get over being afraid to make the same mistakes again? How do I allow myself to trust again?

trust isnt something you allow yourself to do... trust is earned...

Sorry to hear it Sandy. There are so many good relationships out there and if you want it badly enough, you'll eventually let go of the past and take the risk one more time. You might be surprised what you'll find. I hope you will.

So wasn't I, all it takes is time...

Thanks guys!

Sandy....You can't steer the boat by looking behind you. The past makes us who we are today but it doesn't keep us grounded in it unless we choose to be there...so steer your boat forward and be happy with who you are inside...the rest will come

Give yourself time, enjoy the things that make you happy
recognize the things you feel were mistakes, then let the
past go.
Determine the qualities of the man that is not good for you
and recognize the qualities of the kind of man you want.

And as it has been said before, trust is earned, so take
things slowly.
All the best to you.

Forgive yourself, forgive him, and allow yourself to make mistakes because we are all human!

Give yourself time.

I was in a horrible marriage, too. But I had to accept the fact that not every woman in the world is going to be just like my ex-wife.

That took awhile to come to terms with.

But eventually, I discovered that there are some significant differences. For instance, my ex-wife actually acknowledged my existance for awhile.

Yep...time is the only healer unfortunately....

Yes it is.

forgiveness...is NOT for them!!!!!! its to help you move on....you have to truley forgive them...in order for your life to go ahead... if you hold on to the past you will never find what you are looking for.....yes I have been there...yes i have to forgive my ex all the time....I'm, a better person......

I had a really horrible marriage. Had a rough time when it was over. You got to forgive them first, before you can get on with it.

"To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover the prisoner was you."

Little saying helped me put it in perceptive. Your just hurting yourself by being bitter and untrusting.

You probably won't get over it. Like a piece of clay, you are pliable. You can allow your experiences to turn you into grey,pitted blob, or you can create yourself a masterpiece.....Sappy? Maybe...but, that is how I try to live my life. Crises in life builds character.

And try to remember not everyone is like the people who treat us bad. Yah, the trust takes a while to come back but I think it builds a caution that will make our future choices better.

Try not to rush into anything to quick,and remember to thank God for being able to take life one glorious day at a time.

Congrats for getting out of a relationship that didn't help you to flourish and grow and most of all GOOD LUCK!!!!!

If it's one of many bad relationships with a similar theme, the word therapy comes to mind. If it was a one time event then it's just an experience to learn from. Horrible doesn't really describe much, but I'll just assume the worst, and that there were clues along the way.

You start by being real with you and admit where your wrongs were and what part you played in this relationship. Whe you start to do that and take one thing at a time and try to learn from it. Thats when you start to grow and trust again. It takes time. I will tell you this and most do it, not saying you, but/ people blame the other for there mistakes in life and thats what hold people back from growing. life happens and at some point we have to move on and look at whats right for ourselves. If you can't do that. you will always be in the same spot you have beeen in. There is one saying i like and it's so true.

You can sit in a coner and pray all you want, but if you don't get off your ass and do a little foot work. How is god or anyone going to help you...

TIME.....and what you do during that time....but time helps a lot! I know!