I know someone that's a couple months pregnant and just found out some really terrible news.

If you had a friend that had a 1 in 5 chance of having a baby with Down's Syndrome and with further testing realized that her chances were greater than 1 in 5, would you understand if she wanted to have an abortion? If so or if not, what would you console her with?

just cause a baby is going to be born diffrent dont mean you have to stop it from happening,, i would support them with whatever they needed that i could provide. no question

I would support her... I know people will tear it up but I believe we all know what we can and cannot handle... It is each persons choice.. Downs syndrome isn't as bad as other things so I don't think most would choose to terminate..

no! baby is an innocent life! even if they are born with birth defects..she should have it and keep it, and love it for who it is! there are so many people out there who would die to have kids but cant..they would take a down syndrome baby anytime!! shes truely blessed with a beautiful life

Did she have an amniosentysis (sp) to confirm this or only the prelimenary blood test? How old is she?

She's about to. She's 36.

you get tested at 19 weeks you will know for sure.

its a hard decision but i would understand not bring a child into a world that will never accept him/her for being what he/she is.

the decision is personal
ive been lucky so far, my first child is 6, my second is still inthe oven iam 5 months pg. the test was negative

Who are WE to judge or tell ANYONE what they should or shouldn't do????

I was at high risk also. I had the amnio. There were no problems. But..I didn't have the pre. blood work.

I remember being nervous when waiting for the results of the amnio. The test also shows if the child would have spina bifada.

The way I would console her? Listen to her and be her friend.

i agree, this is very personal decision. i hope it all works out for the best.

i have a son that is a special needs child, but he does not have downs, but even if he did, hes still my life, and i couldnt see myself not having him... there was a girl i went to school with she had a son that was born with downs and she kept him and she had 3 other children that were born healthy

Here,here!!

I agree fully...
But has anyone offered the idea that even if the baby is,,,

The parents could still put the baby up for adoption??

She's due in early October. She's been having a really tough time with this pregnancy (it'll be her 3rd child) and her morning sickness hasn't ended. She's been under a lot of stress, too. I think she realizes the difficulties of raising a special needs child and probably feels that she can't dedicate that kind of time and love to the child since she has to be the bread winner for 2 children already.

I had the amnio with my 2nd son... I prayed the whole time that it was all ok.. I felt if it wasn't I wouldn't go through with it.. I wasn't in the position so not sure of the decision I would have made... I do know this... My ex's brother is very special needs and he's learned to care for himself and got married... I pushed and pushed for them to let him "try life" and they finally did.. but before the parents allowed him to, they're only worry was "who" would care for him when they died.. No one wanted the responsibility but me... But it made me think "if" I had a special needs child and something happened to me.. WHO would care for that child???? THAT broke my heart and never ever would I want to leave a child in this world to chance and no one wanted the responsibility.. THAT is why I felt I would terminate if something was wrong..

Yes, that is stressful. Life would be more difficult with a child with Downs Syndrome.

She won't know for sure what she'll do until she gets the test results. It's one thing to say what you are going to do but...your heart won't really know until they say the results.
It's difficult to explain.

I heard the results on the phone and received a follow-up letter.

IF she were to find out that the chld has Downs, no matter what decisions she makes, she will need someone to listen to her and her moods and decisions changing often. Someone that will not judge her or force their own opinion on her. She is the one that will be living with the decision - whatever she decides.

(((Winx))) always kind and always wise...

Thanks for sharing that, IndnPrncs...

I don't actually know if she has the intention of terminating the pregnancy at this time, but it's kind of assumed when you're going for the secondary testing of the amnio, isn't it? I think the scariest thing about a Down's kid is that although some of them live normal lives, they generally die much younger than "healthy" people... besides having the risk of retardation along with all the other features. Lots of them aren't able to have children either, because their reproductive parts don't fully grow... that would be terrible!

I had the same thoughts while waiting for the results. I, too, was concerned about who would take care of the child when I was gone.

All I could think of to say so far was for her to get counseling... especially if she decides to terminate. Pregnancy sure does take a toll on your hormones and she might really regret it and have major inner conflict as a result.