Okay... so I'm the kind of girl who puts on makeup to go to sleep. I do it even if I'm by myself... because I would rather sleep in makeup (which is not good for my skin) than wake up to a knock on the door (the likeliest of scenarios...) and scare whoever is there. Yeah.. thats really unhealthy. Im totally nuts. Its common knowledge that I'm not perfect. I have many flaws... but I would/will go to EXTREME lengths to cover myself up and hide. I think thats what it is... I hide behind makeup. I wish I were beautiful, I wish someone would tell me I'm beautiful when I dont look so fantastic. I get compliments on being cute and fun, like at work. I dont know why I think its so important... but I wish I were beautiful so badly...

I also like to wear a lot of layers. I wear like 2 tank tops, a shirt, and then a zip-up-whatever over it. It makes me feel safe. Im always trying to cover and protect myself. I hate feeling exposed, or vulnerable. Really... I'm just a jumbled ball of fear and I am completely terrified of being hurt. I understand how ridiculous that is.. because pain is inevitable. Its a part of life.. without pain and suffering, I would never learn to appreciate happiness or when everything goes well. But being hurt HURTS... and every time it happens... I don't know if I would survive it it happened again.

Like once upon a time, I was completely fearless. You know how children are before they know any better? I was like that until I was like 16... lol. Completely fearless. I owned the world. But slowly (and inevitably, I guess..) things happened. I took plenty of risks, and got hurt. And every time it happened, it broke me a little more. Some were huge hurts, some were little tiny tweaks of pain. I dont know... I just feel so... broken. I feel like I have to protect whatever is left of me to the death...

I need help.

I for one think way to many women wear makeup for the wrong reasons.Most I have seen have no need for it,it is called natural beauty.

Starry, it sounds to my old layman's ear like you could benefit from a little therapy to help restore your fearlessness. The next time you visit your Doctor, explain a little about how you feel and ask if they can recommend a (preferably female) therapist that you can speak to.
A good Therapist, one that you have a rapport with and trust, can help guide you back to who you once were before the pain and hurt.

I wish you all the luck there is.

You are beautiful! Gorgeous actually..look at that hair...is it naturally that curly and that red..Its hot!! It doesnt look to me like you have any makeup on in that picture..and your skin is flawless!!! You need to stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself everyday that you love yourself for who you are...I have to say that I am in the beauty industry...Id tell you if I thought different....but work it girl cuz if you got it flaunt it...and AND YOU DEFINATELY HAVE IT

love yourself and you will be loved . .

That is very interesting actually...i didnt know there were girls out there that put makeup on to bed....anyway a little therapy could help you and you are a beautiful person so stop thinking like that

hope so.. lol

I agree with this totally and therapy could help a lot. You seem to have the answers to most of your concerns but don't know what to do with them. That would be where the therapy would come into it.

You are beautiful and Im not just stroking your ego. We are all our own worst critics and unfortunately we tend to see the worst intead of the good. I see nothing wrong with you at all in your pic and you have a beautiful face. Why cover it all up with stuff that really will mess it up? Hope you can get past this and get back to the real you.

Makeup hides you, from whatever you may be hiding from. That being said, throw it away and if other's treat you differently because of that...you know who your true friends are.