Talk to me instead! I have respect! (=

WOW this is something that happened in our circle of friends! Lets put it this way...we have one less friend! You do NOT ever mess with a friends ex anything no matter what. You have limits that you have to stay within, once you cross those limits things will never be the same!!!
A rule I live by: If my friends lips have touched them, they are off limits!!!

No way! I would NEVER hang out with my friends ex. I wouldn't even talk to them, just out of respect.

The question alone creates an albatross, circling ship.

I think you missed this part of the OP

"Now we are all divorced and the single foursome...lol. I know its weird but we all still hang out together"

Right. And if she messes with the friend's ex that little foursome will be done with.

why? If that couple is not together anymore there has to be a reason right?
I don't know..I don't see it that way.
Talk to your friends openly and tell them what's going on...I don't see the big drama sorry...

then you need to spend a few more years learning about human nature. We are not goats in a pen, for goodness sake.

Well, there's your answer I guess...if you don't think it would effect the feelings of the others in any way...knock yourself out.

Where is written that I cannot have feelings for someone just because it was your ex something.
If you divorced is because it wasn't working for you two, so why all this attachment about someone you decided not to live with anymore?

Frankly, as a mature adult (42) if I decide I don't want to live with my wife anymore I'll be happy if she's happy, with whoever SHE chooses. If it happens to be my brother...good for them! it's their happiness not mine. Besisdes, at least I know who she's with and that she's safe.


And as a friend I would wish the same to a friend
what's so bad about all that? Are you so immature that you can't face the possibility of your ex being happy with someone else than you?

wouldn't you want your friend / ex to be happy with whoever she/he chooses? And why not?

I gotta speak up on your side here.

I dated a girl for about four months. Things just didn't work out. We didn't hate each other or anything, we just weren't right for each other.

She started dating my best friend. Then they moved in together. While they were living together me and my other friends in the same social circle all hung out primarily at their house. The drunk-fests were usually at their place (we were all around 25-30 at the time).

Now, they're married and have been married for almost 10 years now. Still no hard feelings. In fact, when their kid was born they talked about naming him after me.

Dating someone for four months is not quite the same as being married and having children with someone.

Ok, fair enough, but why does a woman (could be a man, whatever), who made clear they don't want their ex still get to have a claim on them?

Sure, maybe not the day the papers are signed before the ink is even wet, but after some time has passed and everyone's still "friends", why does the ex- who rejected their former spouse get to determine who does and doesn't get to date?

That's just not right.

when you DIVORCE someone you loose any right on his/her sentimental life.
Besides the fact that if you "feel" for a friend or ex wife you *should* be happy if he/she is happy, not if she/he pleases you behaving accordingly to your code.

I think you are mistaking love with attachment. Love is wishing someone else happiness, attachment is wanting that person to behave as we want and getting angry / jealous if he/she fails to do so.

I agree with you on this............they divorced end of story. he no longer has a say in her life nor she in his. If you two want to make a go of it i say go for it. Talk to her let her know what you plan if she throws a fit then you'll have decision to make as to what you want to do.......and i would highly suggest counseling for her as she hasn't let go divorced or not.

It's not about a "claim" at all, but the comfort level between friends and in this case a whole group who have set aside the differences, that caused each group to split, in order to maintain the friendship between the other members. Why disrupt it now? If you believe him to be your true love I might understand, but most friends would not risk it out of sheer loneliness, vulnerability, and certainly not for a roll in the sac.

thats the thing....its not just the friends ex, he is a friend too and it just makes it weird and disrespectful to even throw that out there like he did in my opinion

I don't even need Yoda for this one....


NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!



AT ALL!!!!!


There are several possible outcomes in this scenario and none of them are any good...

i'm sure he was just testing the waters.tell him you value the friendship of both him and his ex to much to ruin it with a roll in the hay with him or whatever he is proposing.then move on to other topics.