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Community > Posts By > Jimmusician
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Topic:
I hate dating :-/
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If girls actually wanted a nice friendly guy who was interested in friendship first, I probably would've ended up with a few dozen girlfriends. Because that's entirely not the case, I am left only with the conclusion that women like to complain whenever there's an offer and have no clue what they want in regards to any relations with the opposite sex. ha. quit complaining. Its not complaining if the content is more truth than reflection. |
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Topic:
I hate dating :-/
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A lot of people are pigs. And pig people are more aggressive than non-pigs, so they have more impact on others' experience and views. The non-pigs often don't even get noticed. Ironic nobody picks up on this. |
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Topic:
I hate dating :-/
Edited by
Jimmusician
on
Mon 10/10/11 09:03 PM
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yea. And he's trying to be friendly with you. So suck it up. aren't you just a nice cup of tea. If girls actually wanted a nice friendly guy who was interested in friendship first, I probably would've ended up with a few dozen girlfriends. Because that's entirely not the case, I am left only with the conclusion that women like to complain whenever there's an offer and have no clue what they want in regards to any relations with the opposite sex. |
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Topic:
I hate dating :-/
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Honestly. I hate that when I go on a date with a guy, he's looking for the girl he's going to 'hook up with' and I'm looking for the guy that I get to laugh and chill with. Keep your hand off my leg and don't try to sleep with me on the first date... or within the first few dates. Lets make sure that we're actually compatible as friends first, yes? It's the reason I hate dating. I want to meet people. People. Friends. yea. And he's trying to be friendly with you. So suck it up. |
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Topic:
too pushy?
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ok this guy message me on another dating site and we have probably sent 4 or 5 message back n forth and hes asking for my number. i feel its kinda fast to be asking for my number already and i dont have a cell phone so i cant just block him if he gets too annoying! or am i just being too paranoid?and would it be rude if i asked him if he had some type of messenger instead? most guys get sick of writing "letters" kind of quick, especially if it appears that there's a spark (indicated by your consistent responses). Now, you don't have a cell. So yea, your getting a little paro. But you can just tell him at least and say "look, we can chat online if you'd like". But then again, I'm the kind thats grateful to talk to a girl rather than get ignored on this type of site. Just me. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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can't resist "changes". got to keep "moving"! 
you watched the new south park, didn't you? lol. Change is when something different on a date happens that isn't usual. a complete drought in dating is an extinction lol. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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having a relationship is to individuals as change is to diapers 
and with such logic, I see how the post count you hold is so high. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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You seem like a really nice guy. Truly. I would stop the tickling bit. A social worker chum told me that tickling can be actually abusive (?)...I dont get it too much, but thats what she said. Something to do with control and boundaries? I tickled my sister constantly as a kid. Go figure. Anyhoo, in my experience, musicians often watch their friends move on, because music was more of a fun hobby to them, and once they got their degree in accounting or some such, they left and got on with their futures that way. If you dont put love first, you wont yeild a long term type relationship. Ive seen lots of musicians make this mistake with their wonderful girlfriends/wives, thinking, "My music has to come first this year"...surprise, bye bye girlfriend. These are just commonalities Ive seen, as I have been around musicians most of my life (Dad was/is a musician). On the other hand, regardless of what you do, many of us cannot find our match. The idea is to find the right one, not how long you can make it last. I wouldnt worry too much if I were you. I think youre doin better than you give yourself credit for. Honestly i would rather someone hit me then tickle me its one of the few things that can make me cry and get cranky. Hate it. 
ok, so I get it. Don't tickle anyone ever again. I'll take the closed-minded advice and move on, thanx for all notifications about being different. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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But everybody I get involved with wants to turn me into a cardboard cutout of the dad on Leave it to Beaver. And that's just not me. I have no interest in being that person. I've been in a lot of relationships which start out with her saying "I love everything about you!" Three months later, it's "I need to CHANGE everything about you!" Frankly, I'm fed up with the lies and manipulation. If that's the person they want, they should go after someone who is already like that, and stop bothering me. lol then maybe go after younger women? who knows man, most times, they don't know what they want. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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You know Lex I think that the more people want me to go with the flow; the more I resist it. Same here. There was something that made me uneasy about the "norm" from a very early age. When my mother told me, "You'll understand when you have kids of your own," I thought it was mandatory. I thought everyone had to do it. She said WHEN, not IF. I have never been one to follow or go with what society; or my family dictates. I know many think I should have got married and had kids. I never had a desire to be a mother and as for marriage; there are many unhappy couples out there. That sure made me think. Fact is I see no use for a relationship. I can do just about anything for myself, and I don't feel lonely for a partner. I think for some; its a great necessity to have a relationship; someone to love and I say go and seek but I don't think for a minute that this is the norm for everyone. I like the CONCEPT of a relationship more than I've liked any of the relationships I've actually been in. Probably because the concept isn't constantly trying to change me. the "when" and "if" thing.......I'd think most parents assume nothing but the best of us will come in time. just a way to reframe things. as far as change...whats so bad? a little variance is good |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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Well, they say to find your equal, is one in a million. We will find the right person one day :) Well, I suppose that would be true for some but sure as we age; the odds of meeting that right person are quite low. I think Lex summed it up with his comment and I totally agree with what he said. I think we tend to become conflicted about the whole thing. I think a part of us wants to "go with the flow" and "do what we're supposed to do" and pair up "like normal people" and follow the standard course. At the same time, we see that it's really not as simple as the popular "wisdom" (I use the term loosely) would have us believe. And when we've been through five or ten or twenty or ninety consecutive relationship disasters, it finally starts to sink in that relationships might not necessarily be essential, or even desirable. But the cultural influence, the "When are you going to get married and settle down and start a family?" pummeling, can be very grueling. do you think part of the problem is being particular about one another? As in....everyone's looking for "THE" one....Nobody's just looking for "one to be with for a while"? I think that's a factor in some cases. On the other hand, I've seen people who were so desperate that they would just grab the first person who showed any interest at all. My guess is that this is not a good way to handle things, but I haven't done any studies on it. For me, I'm just looking for someone compatible. But, because I'm not "mainstream" in my beliefs, philosophies, and what I want in a relationship, I haven't been able to find anyone even remotely suitable. Sure, I could lower my standards, settle for someone who is not what I want, and have a partner. But that relationship will be over in three months or less (it always is), and why waste three months on a dead end? idk, I think acceptance goes above all. There are just aspects to myself (such as musical tastes) that are too obscure to be related to. As far as appearance.....you can see anyone as attractive if you choose to look for it. Its very easy to dismiss someone as "not good looking" just because you have a standard of requirements sitting before you. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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Well, they say to find your equal, is one in a million. We will find the right person one day :) Well, I suppose that would be true for some but sure as we age; the odds of meeting that right person are quite low. I think Lex summed it up with his comment and I totally agree with what he said. I think we tend to become conflicted about the whole thing. I think a part of us wants to "go with the flow" and "do what we're supposed to do" and pair up "like normal people" and follow the standard course. At the same time, we see that it's really not as simple as the popular "wisdom" (I use the term loosely) would have us believe. And when we've been through five or ten or twenty or ninety consecutive relationship disasters, it finally starts to sink in that relationships might not necessarily be essential, or even desirable. But the cultural influence, the "When are you going to get married and settle down and start a family?" pummeling, can be very grueling. do you think part of the problem is being particular about one another? As in....everyone's looking for "THE" one....Nobody's just looking for "one to be with for a while"? |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
Edited by
Jimmusician
on
Sun 10/02/11 10:18 PM
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Well, join the club. I'm 27 too, and I've never even been in a relationship. And although I've met many nice Ladies over the past few years, they are just far too complicated. And cause me great health problems. Staying single for a little longer really won't hurt
lol I know what you mean. Personally I've never really broken the two months point. That being said, idk if its here (Jersey) or what, but man......alot of women I've dated have just had some crazy drama keeping them from keeping "healthy". Well, they say to find your equal, is one in a million. We will find the right person one day :) equal schmequal, I'm not that difficult a person to deal with. I'd gladly settle for some action with Ms. RightNOW while waiting for Ms. Right to stroll along. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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Of course men are threatened by an independent woman. They are like little children; especially the guys in their 50s. Now your showing why you aren't in relationships. Frankly I like independence; shows the girl in question is headstrong enough that I don't have to put myself in the pillow position 24/7 for her to appreciate me. No, I am explaining why I am not in a relationship young man. I have no time to babysit a 50 year old man. It gets tiring after a while. you still have the option to, however. Either way. Well, join the club. I'm 27 too, and I've never even been in a relationship. And although I've met many nice Ladies over the past few years, they are just far too complicated. And cause me great health problems. Staying single for a little longer really won't hurt
lol I know what you mean. Personally I've never really broken the two months point. That being said, idk if its here (Jersey) or what, but man......alot of women I've dated have just had some crazy drama keeping them from keeping "healthy". |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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Of course men are threatened by an independent woman. They are like little children; especially the guys in their 50s. Now your showing why you aren't in relationships. Frankly I like independence; shows the girl in question is headstrong enough that I don't have to put myself in the pillow position 24/7 for her to appreciate me. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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S0 latest new quandry.....You guys are mostly over forty years of age, it seems like. However.....is there any stigma against guys/girls that really never have gotten the chance to hold proper (as in healthily working) relationships? Yep, there is a stigman. Everyone thinks there is something wrong with you if you haven't married and divorced. As well if you haven't had a long term relationship; people won't give you the time of day. Sucks but thats how it works my dear. I dont know if thats true at 27. He was asking about those of us over 40 about the stigma. I am sure this doesn't apply to age 27. I actually stated that I felt past 25 was considered out of norm. Therefore stigma applies 25+, unless around 40 it becomes looked at like age; "just a number". |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
Edited by
Jimmusician
on
Sun 10/02/11 09:18 AM
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lawdy, how did you come upon that video? That gentleman seems self aware, but not moving forward really. Comes off as the ultimate in lazy, and if he's hoping someone will approach him, I wonder if he would consider taking that ring of his wedding ring finger! I confess, I could not bear to watch more than 3 minutes however. some random googling of why people remain alone, I guess. can't really remember. Keep in mind while these videos are long they do serve a purpose to get an insight as to whats happening to people in the scene (rather than people who are simply "satiated" from relationships to the point of not minding being alone). Lets face it. The first played video on the channel features a gay man. I have nothing against it, but given that I have friends that are gay, it looks like despite there being a community supporting them, they still either have 1) trouble meeting other guys or 2) are battling problems they have with themselves. I'm mostly looking at the psychological reviews (which don't really mean anything, but its good to see "professional" takes on it) and "peers" of similar age. There are ways that I can see that I'm not far off; I am not reclusive, however I do supplement work and individual projects to serve the same purpose. After a 45-50 hour work week, I'm going to be somewhat withdrawn. I sign up for classes at the local community college that's about five minutes away from me. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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The OP seems to be making a good faith effort to me & I wish him good luck
you've caught me on some good (too tired to really bother) days. |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
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S0 latest new quandry.....You guys are mostly over forty years of age, it seems like. However.....is there any stigma against guys/girls that really never have gotten the chance to hold proper (as in healthily working) relationships? Yep, there is a stigman. Everyone thinks there is something wrong with you if you haven't married and divorced. As well if you haven't had a long term relationship; people won't give you the time of day. Sucks but thats how it works my dear. I dont know if thats true at 27. most people seem to censor you out around 25. A lot of people that hear this sort of thing basically give off a "what the **** is wrong with you" reaction. I feel like most girls treat a lot of it with an approach of "if I just leave him alone, the problem will go away, and he'll find his own direction and his problems will just fix themselves". SO yea, its a pretty big spread of "sick animal syndrome". |
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Topic:
relationship defective.
Edited by
Jimmusician
on
Sun 10/02/11 08:21 AM
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Don't worry, 40 will be here soon enough and at that point you won't give damn! Bored, come on try and help the Lad NOt scare the crap outta him.
Oh, I can tell I'm already ****ed anyways, no worries there. I could be like my friend (who's similar to me) who basically is in a relationship he hates that sustains it because he doesn't want to hurt the girl's feelings. Really what draws up most of my concerns is this youtube channel in particular. http://www.youtube.com/user/trman1 Imagine how much many of these people (or most of them) have achieved only to find they're incompatible with other people. |
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