A man and his wife recieved a letter from their daughter who studies abroad. " My beloved parents, i miss u so much and worse is dont know when am coming back home, though it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time i get back, you ll be too old, so enclosed you will find a bottle of portion i have invented which will make you younger so when i return, you ll be same age as i left you. NOTE;PLS take only 1 drop. " so the wife opens the bottle and took a drop, thereafter she indeed turned 7years younger. Some years passed and the daughter returns to find her mother young and beautifull carrying a baby on her back. The daughter is delighted and ask about her dad. Your father my child got so jealous that i was young and beautifull so he drank the whole bottle. So where is he asked the daughter? Oh thats him i have on my back.

failure is not an event, its an opinion.. bishop duncan williams.

God does not consult your past to define your future.

hehehehehe.

In an alcoholic factory, the regular taster died and the director began looking for a replacement. A drunk with a ragged dirty look came to apply. The director wondered how to send him away so he thought to put him to test. The drunk was given a glass with a drink, he tasted it and said " its red wine, a muscat, 3years old, grown on a north slope, natured in steel containers. Correct the director said in shock. Another glass was given and the drunk said "its red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrel. Correct said the boss. The director was astonished and winked at the secretary to suggest something. She brought a glass of urine and the drunk tried it. " its female, 26years, three months pregnant, made inside the work office and if you dont give me the job, ill tell who the father is.

hehehehehehehehe..

Three friends raped the king's daughter and were caught. As punishment the king ordered the friends to go into the forest and pluck fruits and as many as they can as this will determine if they live or die. Henry, the first guy came back with 3fingers of banana and the guards pushed all into his arse, tommy came back with 3oranges and the guards put all into his arse but he kept laughing and laughing hard so the king asked in shock why he was laughing so hard instead of screaming in pains, tommy pointed at a direction and said, look at jim, he is coming with 20 coconuts. LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

my dear, death is one sure thing that everyone must pass through and thats why the way we live our lives count, what will we be remembered by when we leave this world? Sorry about your bro and try to keep good memories of him alive..

ah.. And who says they are paid well? They are not at all.. Plus the insults they sometimes recieve from customers. Its really not easy serving people. They deserve every tip they can get.

you have got to be kidding me.. Low self esteem? With eyes and body like yours?

i believe the happiest of all christians and the truest are those who never dare doubt God, but take his word simply as it stands, and believe it, and ask no questions, just feeling assured that if God has said it, it will be so. - C.H. Spurgeon

let people feed for a month on the promises of God and they will not be talking of their "leanness." it is not leaness, it is laziness. There is abundant supply for us if we will only rouse ourselves to take it. - D.L. Moody

Everything about God is great, vast, incomparable. He never forgets, never fails, never falters, never forfeits his word. To every declaration of promise or prophecy the lord has exactly adhered every engagement of covenant or threatening he will make good. - A.W. Pink

those who cant manage money end up working for those who can. Pastor gabriel iruobe.

Prove the faithfulness of God by carrying your every want to him. Only maintain an upright heart cause if you live in SIN, willfully and habitually do things which you know are contrary to the will of God. Then you cannot expect him to hear you. George Muller.

all real pictures of me. As for how i look? Its in the eyes of the beholder. I do know i am fearfully and wonderfully made by God, in his own image and likeness. No other like me in this universe

all real pictures of me

oh.. Think am gonna start using it. Have never tried it befor. How does it work?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... I cant fit shout.

E dikwa sure ife a ga way ise?