"I have nothing to hide and do expect the same in a relationship that is going to last."


What if it's not going to last? Will half disclosure work for ya'?

The job I hated the most would have to be working in a plastics factory. They manufactured garbage bags. The static electricity would cause your hair to literally stand straight off of your head and when you touched any of the metal equipment ZAP!!

It was "procedure" for the newbies to be the first ones to the break room while the other employees hung back to watch the entertainment. See, the break room had a large metal doorknob.

When my initiation came, I didn't see anything but that damn blue arc. That shock went from my finger to my elbow and I smelled fricken smoke for the rest of the day. Yup, I hated that job. Still hate that job.

As a matter of fact, if I could get my hands on the people who thought this was funny....

"I am a goal driven person, who when trying to accomplish something makes sure I do so before being done."


For most people, you can't classify it as an accomplishment until after it's done. However, there's a special few who the rules are turned around for....

"Looking for attractive wild partying female animals!"


Bestiality? Eww.

"I love to go to the movies even tho they try to mug you for a thing of popcorn."


You were mugged for popcorn?

I will be keeping you all in my prayers, Katie. ((hugs))

Shivering.

Fan-fricken-tastic!

Sign Language Instructor

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

I once made a reMark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a luLU, KEpt people looKING So hard for fACTS, and for others it was a REVELATION. Some were in a JAM, ESpecially since the names of the books are not capitalized, but the tRUTH finally struck home to NUMBERS of readers. To others, it was a real JOB. We want it to be A MOSt fascinating few moments for you. yES, THERe will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require JUDGES to help them. I will quickly admiT IT USually takes a minister to find one of the seventeen, and there will be loud LAMENTATIONS when it is found. A little lady says sHE BREWS a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can comPETE. Relax now, for there really are the names of seventeen books of the Bible in these sentences. (One preacher found sixteen books in 20 minutes. It took him three weeks to find the seventeenth one.)


Mark, Luke, Kings, Acts, Revelation, James, Ruth, Numbers, Job, Amos, Esther, Judges, Titus, Lamentations, Hebrews, Peter, ?

Well, I found 16 of them. The segment in line 8, 'usually takes a minister' could be seen as the Book of Samuel (ie usually takeS A Minister) but because that was a bit of a stretch, I didn't include it above.

Ethereal

"Im just lookin for what everyone wants.."


You may want to rethink that since that one guy wanted to be relocated to the bottom of a volcano.

"im looking for a woman that enjoys good conversation,holding hands and taking long walks,traveling,fine dining,the out doors ,kissing,watching movies,or just getting butt-naked and cuddling.."


'Butt-naked', does that mean I can still wear a t-shirt? Oh, and socks?

Ladies if you want to find that man and be in love there are 2 things you must do. 1st Don't let your past effect your future by judging men from your previous relationships. 2nd Restore your faith in man by reaching out. We need to be charged! (smile) I'm unique because I realize looks fade, and I realize sex is a way you express how much you care about that person.


Excuse me? You think...I...Omg! Back away from me slowly and I won't tell Fido to rip your cellphone off.

"She will find love because women are love and she established a power connection to his lifeless cellphone(man)."


Is 'cellphone' an analogy for a 'phallus'?

"If women would allow man to plug into her charger, she would find that man is a reflection of herself."


Sorry, I don't lend my charger out to just anyone.

"Men are like cell phones. Without a charge they are lifeless. Women are like chargers. They provide power to man. Every woman has all these qualities within her that she desires from man."


Daddy always told me I was 'sitting on a gold mine' but, nobody has ever told me I could use that thing to charge my cell phone!

"I've been known to be kicked out of a few stores for playin around in the toy department(sorry I like to test toys before I buy them..."


Was this in one of those *ahem* adult stores? Awkward.

"Will fill this in later. Will fill this in later. Will fill this in later. Will fill this in later. Will fill this in later. Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda."


Do you repeat everything you say four or five times?