hey there.

yes indeed.

let haters hate, thats there job.

lol okay good.

yeah lol just a little to wierd.

hey hey no arguing.

only three years older, but i'll be 19 in january.

lol

btw, slayer kicks ass.

sup sup

COME and talk to me.

its laura, and thanks.

Kudos.

thanks so much, yeah I know from expierence. Thats one reason why I cut back A WHOLE LOT from that.

yeah alcohol may fix whatever problem you've got going on, but once the high is done, the problem is always going to be there.

no, I have been to counseling and it helped but its just my past sneaking up on me and i'm thinking to much of what could of been. But I chose the wrong path and did drugs, drank myself to death (almost) and disregarded everyone elses' feelings but my own.

I'm a lot better now then I use to be, its just me thinking a little to much.

JUST TELLING YOU NOW THAT I'M VENTING NOT COMPLAINING. STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR MY SOB STORY.

why can't i just be happy with who i am? why can't i just be comfortable in my own body? i want to fit in, i want to be normal, why don't i deserve that? i feel that i'm a good person and all so why can't i get the everyday assurance that i MAY look nice, or that some cute guy MIGHT notice me? this body isn't who i am and isn't who i want to be forever. why can't i have the one thing that could make me happy? is it really that much to ask? i know life is hard, don't get me wrong, but it shouldn't be miserable. i shouldn't go through life thinking that people are making fun of me because of the way i look or that the guy i like is never gonna notice me because i don't have the right bodytype. its not fair, i know life's not fair so don't give me crap on that. i just don't understand why i have to be like this. i'm not healthy anymore, i have hypertension because of the way i am. i have knee problems because of the way i am. i'm going to die at a younger age because of the way i am. so why can't i have this one thing to put my life on track? i don't know and i can't answer that. no matter how hard i try i seem to stay at the same size, dieting hasn't helped nor exercising. i'm tired of being so self concious and shy because of this. it's causing me to be mopey and *****y all the time to the people i love and hurting them. i don't want to do that anymore. i don't want to be depressed when eeryone else is so happy and joyful. i want to feel that way too. i don't want to pretend anymore. no material thing in the world can TRULY make me as happy as i could be if i didn't have this problem. i can't put on a fake smile and pretend everything's okay for the rest of my life, i'll end up in some sort of spiraling depression or something. i hate that i feel this way it's such a dumb reason to be upset. i can't do this to myself anymore, i know that. and i can't be a total ***** to my family and friends either. it's not fair to them when they didn't do anything wrong. it makes them feel like they ****ed up when in reality it was me.

yes, Webster University.