Due to increasing products liability litigation, alcohol
manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that
the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcohol
containers:

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to shay shings like thish.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened
to your pants.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may think you can converse logically with
members of the opposite sex without spitting.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary (whose species or name you cannot
remember).

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
more handsome and smarter than some really, really big guy named Dave.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe fat, ugly people are
slim and attractive.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing
in your home.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are
laughing WITH you.

=> WARNING
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time seem to
literally disappear.

An American, a Spaniard and a Frenchman are walking on a beach when they
discover a genie's lamp. The American rubs the lamp and the genie
appears in a puff of blue smoke. She announces to the trio that they
will receive a total of three wishes, one each, so they should consider
their wishes wisely.
The Spaniard is first, and asks the genie to make his country fruitful,
his countrywomen beautiful and his traditions preserved. The genie
grants the wish.
The Frenchman is second. "I'm sick and tired of my homeland being
invaded every half century. I would like an impenetrable wall built to
protect my beloved France, one which no one can scale." The genie grants
the wish.
The American thinks for a moment, and asks the genie, "I'm curious about
this wall. How big is it?" The genie replies, "The wall around France is
150 high and 50 feet thick. It cannot be penetrated from either side, or
climbed, and all the French people of the world are safe inside."
"Great," says the American. "Fill it with water."

I know it isn't a "real" sport, but does anyone here get into wrestling?
I dont necessarily mean some of the crap you see from WWE, ECW, TNA, but
Indy wrestling (ROH, PWU, STAMPEDE, etc.)?

A person's opinion of themself is like Mount Everest is to most people:
Kind of lofty, somewhat out of reach and basically unattainable. I am
not trying to be a p r i c k here BUT....
you believing you are one way or another doesn't make you actually that
way. Its all a mater of perception... Some people I know think I am a
bit of an ass. Others think I am the best thing since bread. There are
always extremes. Look for the truth usually somewhere in the middle.

Instead of a site like this, maybe talk to Dr. Phil...

Yes, they say that the stories (not all of them, but many) are "ripped
right out of the headlines". The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was "based on a
true story". Here's the thing: Practically EVERYTHING you watch has it's
roots in reality... Stories need to come from somewhere.

If you are into it, the best thing to watch are the A&E shows: City
Confidential; American Justice, etc. Even though L&O shows are "based on
real events", you have to rememeber they are made for entertainment
purposes. Don't lose yourself in the story.

There are sicko's out there but thankfully they are (still)
outnumbered....

Earth = Science

Law and Order spin-off: Special Victims Unit.

And of COURSE all the men who aren't the cops are bad....Otherwise
there'd be no reason for the show.

Look, there are pervs out there, yes, but I don't like getting dirty
looks cause I smiled at a cute kid cause the kid was being a kid.... I
believe in protecting and nurturing, but not over-protecting and
smothering.

I keep my beautiful son on a leash but it is longer than his
mother's....

I miss the days I could go walk to the store when I was 6 to get a coke
and chips or spend my allowance on candy, and visit the local
pharmacist, cause he was a real nice man who was nice to us kids....My
son will never know the simple enjoyment and fleeting feling of
independence in that...

This may be an urban legend and totally false, but give outboundforever
some kudos for mentioning it at least. Just goes to show there really
are caring, concerned people out there. After all, better safe than
sorry, right?

A husband forces himself to open his eyes ...
..., and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of
water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of
him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it
is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He
takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table ...

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love
you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and
the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black
eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm
married!"

A self-induced hangover - $100.00
Broken furniture - $200.00
Breakfast - $10.00
Saying the right thing - priceless

A 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human
body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should
not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my
parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire
you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy,
is she gonna get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body
part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of
the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued,
"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
(1) you have a dirty mind,
(2) you didn't read your homework, and
(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a
pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant
to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go
out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a
reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll catch
yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching
herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the
young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just
then, he saw a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She
took aim, killed the creature and with a great deal of effort hauled it
on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead
creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the
alligator on its back and, frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one
isn't wearing any shoes either!"

I don't dare kick my cat... she strikes back....

So, that means the SF/Bay area, New York, Houston, and Chicago are too
good for ya? And you can keep your money. At ten to fifteen cents
difference, it costs more to convert than its worth. :) Unless, of
course, that was an offer from you to hand over some....

Nothing bites like having to hold on in the middle of sex while she
answers the phone..... and it's her Mother calling....

Women with tats are hot!!

... is she tattooed?

Hey, why isn't there a sub-forum for us Canadians? I think that we merit
one..... :D

FINALLY!!!!! I got the verification email!

Everything is set up properly. I even tried a different email address.
Still no verification email...

I have yet to receive a verification email from JSH. I wound up clicking
on the re-send button about 5 times. I have my own server (I run a few
websites -- no prono or x-rated stuff), and have my mail server set to
allow most emails, and there is no verification email in my spam folder,
either. What gives?