A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint.

When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,

'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint; come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala ,
where they enjoyed the weed.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this, swam over to the little lizard, and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out, walked
into the rain forest, and found the tree where the koala was
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit, duuuuuude.....
How much water did you drink?!!'

I am opening up for some new experiences and thought of something kind of crazy. I am looking for one woman who would like to go to Cancun with me for a 5 day 4 night stay. If you would like to go hit me up on this site telling me why you would like to take a vacation to Cancun. There are no strings or expectations from me attached. I have no criminal background history what so ever. In fact the winner I choose can run a full background check on me if they wish. I am a commercial airline pilot and I am also very adventurous. So be prepared to have a great time. I will have everything paid for so all you need to bring is a little extra spending money for what ever you might want to bring back. While there we will snorkle, ride zip lines, and swim with dolphins. Everything else will be a bonus including spending time on the beaches of the Caribbean. Email me if you are interested and I will choose someone by Aug 1st. Yes I could bring someone that I know with me but that would take all the fun out of it. Hope to hear from you...See you in Cancun.

I am opening up for some new experiences and thought of something kind of crazy. I am looking for one woman who would like to go to Cancun with me for a 5 day 4 night stay. If you would like to go hit me up on this site telling me why you would like to take a vacation to Cancun. There are no strings or expectations from me attached. I have no criminal background history what so ever. In fact the winner I choose can run a full background check on me if they wish. I am a commercial airline pilot and I am also very adventurous. So be prepared to have a great time. I will have everything paid for so all you need to bring is a little extra spending money for what ever you might want to bring back. While there we will snorkle, ride zip lines, and swim with dolphins. Everything else will be a bonus including spending time on the beaches of the Caribbean. Email me if you are interested and I will choose someone by Aug 1st. Yes I could bring someone that I know with me but that would take all the fun out of it. Hope to hear from you...See you in Cancun.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend
that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a
trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register,the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack..
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my
parents, come on in!'
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute
passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious..'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

If you think I'm sexy, and you really want me, come on baby let me know...lol

well said Amen.

Thank you all for your comments. Just thought I could help somebody out there start thinking about changing your life....Only if it was just one. Have a great Sunday

There was this old man who lived far out in the countryside. One day he decided to buy him a little puppy because he had become lonely living so far away from people. He brought a brand new little puppy home one day who was innocent and new nothing about the world. Upon arrival at the old man's home the little puppy had a tight leash put around his neck along with a 15 ft chain. This was terribly uncomfortable for the puppy. Later that afternoon the puppy saw all the animals playing out on the country side and he wanted to play too. So all at once he bolted from the porch and began to run to them. The puppy only got so far, 15 ft to be exact when all of a sudden he was snatched back violently by the chain. The puppy whimpered as the leash grasped tightly around his neck. His body ached from the harsh pull of the chain. With head lowered he managed back on the porch and sat down and rested. Years went by and everyday the animals would be playing out in the country side and the puppy would jump up and start running towards them so eager to play only to be met with the same outcome. PAIN, SADNESS, DEPRESSION, AND DESPAIR. A few more years went by and the puppy was now a full grown dog. The old man came outside and told the dog, " you have been a loyal companion of mine and I will now set you free to roam my countryside." The old man released the chain from the dog's collar and the dog could feel the weight of that chain release from his body. The old man released the collar from the dogs neck and he could feel the tightness of the collar release from his neck. So much better without all that weight the dog said to himself. Later that afternoon, like every afternoon before the dog saw all the animals playing out in the countryside. Instead of running out to greet them he slowly started walking towards them very cautiously. As soon as he got exactly 15 ft he stopped. He could feel the weight of the chain off his back, he could feel the collar free from his neck. Yet 15 ft and he just stopped and sat down. For years the dog suffered and had been conditioned that 15ft was his limit. He knew exactly with or without a chain how many feet it took to get to his painful experience. He did not want to experience that pain ever again and yet if he would have taken that 16th step he would have realized what freedom really meant. How sad and yet how true for so many of us. We have been conditioned from past negative experiences and do not dare to test the 16th step for fear of pain. When we start utilizing our problems as positive ways of learning more about our self. Gaining strength through adversity, and always relying on faith and self worth....We Grow. many people look at problems that come along their path to reach self happiness as a risk to scary to take. I look at problems as one less hurdle to climbing towards my final destination. Life will meet you half way....but you got to take that 16th step to take what life truly has to offer.........

Heading out to Cancun Easter weekend...Anybody want to go or is heading that way?

Have a great day :-)

I guy was going off to the military and he had this cat he absolutely loved since childhood. In fact this cat was his whole world it seemed like. He knew he could not take the cat to boot camp with him so he asked his parents to take care of him. About six weeks later and just out of boot camp the young man called his parents to check on no one else but his cat. Hows my cat he asked..Your cat died. OMG he said, I have been gone for 6 weeks and all you can say is that he is dead. I mean could you not have broken the news to me easier. You know how I loved this cat. Maybe you could have said my cat was sick or he had an accident call back in a few days to find out how he is doing. To just say my cat is dead is a very cold way of putting it. Thus he hung up the phone. About 3 weeks later his curiosity got the best of him so he called his parents back asking how the cat died. Well, the cat had climbed onto the roof somehow lost his balance and fell onto the pavement on his back making a big splat. That is terrible said the young man. You know how I loved that cat. You could have told me the cat was on the roof and maybe a week later told me he fell off the roof and maybe a week or so later told me he did not survive. You know I loved that cat and to hit me all at once with this information is cruel and devistating to me. Then he hung up the phone. About 1 month later he somehow managed to get over his cat's death and called his parents house. His mom answered the phone. Hey mom how is dad can I talk to him. Well son you can't talk to him right now. Why not exclaimed the son. Well your father is on the roof.

Its all good...

Work on the picture to bring your beauty out a little more..Other than that you seem real sweet..Good luck.

Got to get naked Bro...That is what gets the fish to bite..jk

It was suppose to be a joke...Get it lol

I will buy the first round!! See u at the tables :-)

nah just big bro!! Let me know if you want my work out plan.

Happy New Year Everybody :-)

cute