What I have learned about life so far..
I could probably right it down on the cover of a matchbook..... but I'm learning more everyday... I suppose it's about being as honest with yourself as you can... even if it hurts

I'm thinking it's going to take awhile to get over this...her... and I wish the sun would shine again..

Thanks..

Well.. yes Tom you always have us.

To keep you company.... I know it's not much consolation.. but this place is a great way to kill some time... and feel connected to the world.. so yes !alone but not lonely

You came into my life like a Summers Breeze


Warm gentle and soft..
Wrapping me in your.
Sweet embrace..
. Summer months of you warmth against my face... feeling your Sunshine everywhere...
Now winter has come.. and just like the Summer sun
you have disappeared as well..
Now I am caught in the cold clutches..
Of Winter's grip.. I miss my Summer's Breeze..

.. I didn't say that's the practice that I believe in ..... and besides sex is sex doesn't matter if you wait a day a week or a month.. giving yourself to somebody.. is a form of togetherness.. not a declaration of commitment.. I could wait a month for you to have sex with me.. and then 2 weeks later we can break up...

..awww thanks but I don't think mouse traps are going to cheer me up this time... I need something a little more drastic... maybe a amputation of a certain appendage... sometimes one head is better than two..lol

Choice.. you see an open flame in that instant you choose to stick your hand in it are you choose not to...
Through experience.. you have learned the consequences of sticking your hand in the open flame.... now you're mine can override the choice not to stick your hand in the flame... but the consequences will be the same

Just for the record book I'm an amazing fashion accessory...wink.. I look good on anybody's arm..lol

Here's a reality check folks.. offline you see somebody from head to toe.. you can chat face-to-face.. you can pretty much get a good feel for who they are pretty quickly..
They are three dimensional..
Online not so much..lol.. it takes awhile to get a good picture of who you're interacting with.. unless you're a complete open book like me...lol.. but what happens in that time it takes that other person to get a picture of you... they lose interest.. And rather than letting you down easy... it's easier just to break the connection deactivate.. because after all who wants to explain to the other person ..why they're not interested in them... do you really want to hear that..nope so be grateful and thankful that they did let you down easy.. by simply stop talking to you...

.. First Dates can be deceiving.. alcohol perfume and cologne good looks..
And don't forget.. you've been alone for a while so you're feeling a little horny shall we say..lol... but if they check off some of those check marks on your list..well.. when you look over to that person in the morning and say to yourself ..last night was awesome.. thank God I'm not alone anymore... at that moment you stop really looking at them very hard.. your just happy to be with somebody... then Wham-O.. three weeks later.. why didn't I just go home alone and masturbate instead of sleeping with them that first night.. lol..but that's okay cuz now you're alone.. masturbating alone again..lol

.. yes that seems to be the recurring thing .. throw obstacles in front of the loneliness.. anything will do!!.self help class.. cooking class.. go to the gym..
Do anything!! just to keep your mind off of the fact that you're alone.... most days you say we're okay with being alone... but on those days 'when you think.. why am I alone..? it sucks!! not having somebody in my life.. you look up to the heavens and say "why what's the matter with me"?..lol.. and then sure enough you turn the corner and bump into somebody... thank God no more loneliness... 6 months later Wham-O why didn't I just stay alone while I was still used to it..lol

..yes.. to be young and dumb again let yourself fall in love think nothing of the consequences.. it will all work itself out..
But Nene say I ..the older I.. the wiser I that knows better... at this stage in life you have to think down the road.. you have to look at each possible partner.. thoroughly..
And hang on to what it is you really want.. in a partner.... but the problem is when you connect with someone.. all those things you thought you wanted seem to fly out the window... until the new person makes you shake your head and say to yourself what am I doing.. this isn't what I wanted..
Wham-O back to being alone again..wink.

.. I think true love is for the story books... I would settle with just being with somebody I can be comfortable with.... no drama

Problem is how do you know that person is going to be your forever and ever person..
You don't!!.. it takes time to figure that out.

BUT In that time ..you grow comfortable with not being alone again.. it may take you weeks even months to come to the realization.. that maybe things aren't going to work out... then Wham-O.. back to being alone again.... God why do you do this to us..lol

Makes you wonder why any of us would even think of looking to be in a relationship ever... I guess that's why it's best if you do make sure you're in it for the Long Haul

It's in that moment when you have to swallow hard.. say to yourself you will get through this.. you will become comfortable with being alone again.. of course that's hard to do.. it makes you even feel worse for even having to tell yourself that

Yes doing that just makes me feel like I'm running away from my loneliness..
I hate that.. but at the same time I hate confronting my loneliness

Yes !..that's the thing being in a relationship but still needing your alone time... you even cherish it.. but you're still not really alone.. because you know ..That the other person is there for you... but when they're gone... it's hard to get back to feeling okay with being alone

Loneliness is a funny thing ..it's mostly in your mind I guess.. it's funny how you can be in a relationship.. and not see the other person everyday.. but feel connected to them somehow.. so when you're alone you really don't feel alone.. but when you lose that person for whatever reason.. that's when you feel being alone the most.. that's when you feel actually .. lonely and all alone..

Even your day to day. Normal routine seems even lonelier than usual
... once you find yourself alone with yourself again.... eating dinner watching TV just seems crushingly lonely.. once you're out of that relationship..
Oddly enough nothing's really changed you're still eating and still watching the same show
.. but somehow now it's not the same..
.. even going to the grocery store.. now takes on a whole new meaning... when you're in a relationship ..your just grocery shopping ..maybe for things, to make your partner for dinner.. but now you're just grocery shopping for yourself... funny how before the relationship.. grocery shopping for yourself seemed perfectly normal...

Hard to get back to that perfectly normal..
It's funny how our mind tricks us... alone but not really lonely
..