Thank you all for the wonderful replies , I feel so much better.

Some times my mind and my heart pull me in different directions.
I guess time is the only healer. I just wish i had a way to skip through this heartache.

My husband and I are seperated after 4 years of marriage. He cheated on me with his ex girlfriend multiple times and I do not even know her name.

On top of that he walked out on me and for months i kept blaming myself for making him angry , but after a while he admitted that he was in touch with his ex at that time and now they are not talking to each other any more and he is sorry and wants to get back , but when i tried to talk to him he refuses to tell me anything about that relationship of his and says he wants to shut the door. but my problem is I have already done this before but she still kept walking back in our marriage , this time his excuse being that she had a break up and he thought he was helping her in a tough time but then he started sharing about his life too and in between he also admitted to have picked up random girls at bars for dates (did not tell how far these "DATES" went)

So finally after so many years i was able to find the courage to tell him that it is not working.

My problem is he is my only relationship I ever had and I am having a tough time moving on , am I crazy to still love him.

In my head i know this marriage has no future but i just can't stop loving him . I am trying to get my life back on track preparing for GMAT and all but it is so hard. How do i cope up with this.....

wy does my heart ache for him so much all the time after what he did.