Well, this might seem funny, Carold but I went to an Alanon meeting once and this woman seen and could hear very plainly that I was angry and she said, "Don't tell me it is a woman who has made you so angry." I asked, "How did you know?" It is then that I found out that it was like snake venom because the poison and the cure were the same. It helped me get my own self out of the ditch. I couldn't fix my ex just like she couldn't fix me. It was more like physician heal thyself and the more Alanon meetings I went to the more I found out that my ex had something when she said that I caused a lot of my own problems. At first it irritated me that my ex could be right because it was very ego deflating but the more meetings I went to I tried to work on my own faults. I can even remembering telling my counselor that I was amazed how people were getting better around me. But he said, "It isn't them but You are getting better." He took him a lot of work but eventually he made me capable of accepting a compliment. I think the most scariest thing I ever encountered was someone just like me. I told my counselor that I couldn't stand that person and my counselor told me that used to be me.