IDK where you live or what opportunities you've had that leads you to think EVERYBODY has the same chances just because this IS America... but it's NOT that way here in Alabama... and I speak from personal experience...

here, the men think they still have absolute control over women and the right to beat us if we step out of their line...

here, the men created a master/slave contract in which they enslaved a woman to a large corporation without her knowledge or consent for the remainder of her natural life and actually aid and abet in her physical and emotional abuse (torturing)...

here, they gang up and take away opportunities and deliberately hold you down while maligning your character...

here, if and when you contact all your elected officials, even those in Washington DC to let them know what's really still going on when the civil rights fight was allegedly won decades ago... they ALL ignore your plight or simply "wish you the best but there's nothing they can do"...

so please, before you think that people who can't get ahead are just making "excuses" for why they don't, you should look at things from the perspective of those of us that are being treated extremely bad by our own countrymen first.

Don't get me wrong I am very happy being single, but........
Something happened to me at work yesterday that shook me to my core.
A girl fell down and I was right there, I offered my hand and assisted her up and onto her feet. But as she put her hand in mine I felt a warmth and intensity of emotions I'm struggling to describe shoot through me. It made me realise I have not held a women��s hand in over 5 or 6 years maybe more, and to feel that even though it was only a helping hand was so special.
I can��t wait to hold someone��s hand for the very first time again, to feel the warmth and softness, to feel the texture of a loved one��s hand as we gently apply pressure and entwine our fingers together.
It will be a very special moment.

Thought so.

Oh yeah, family photos ... another one that can be touchy, lol.
I used to always have an entire wall for that, pictures of my kids, loved it! But my ex didn't want me to put them up, as it would make it too much my home (and my kids') and he didn't have any pictures really of his kids that could be or were framed. So I couldn't put up my kids' pictures either.
Too many compromises ... That's why I sometimes find myself thinking "what if I meet a new bloke and we are ready to move in together? Where are my borders? What am I willing to get rid of/store?"

I guess when it's really right, it will be somewhat different, but the thing is, I thought it was really really really right with my ex as well. The first time ever I felt I was going to grow old with my partner, and wanted that as well.
And boy, was I wrong!

@ Missy, I get what you mean. I think I'm less willing to compromise that much (for me the scenario you describe feels like - too much - compromising)


I guess what Sparkyae said is very important and would help a lot: being able to talk about your feelings and concerns with your partner.

It was a bit of a shocker.
I put them aside,and said "for now".
And gave her 'the look'.
Anyway..the photos are still up.
She's not.

When my marriage partner and I tied the knot, most of her things and most of my things became our things. The only things that weren't "our things" were things that one can't or shouldn't share with another person.

That is how life is supposed to work when you have a marriage partner.