Im taking the 5th on this one!

top this. i swear i heard a guy say this to some random in a club the other night...if i was a squirrel and you were a tree i'd hide my nuts in your hole..
all time worst pick-up line

did it hurt....you know when you fell from heaven.

are your legs tired....because you've been runnin through my mind all night.

is that a mirror in your pocket ...b/c i can really see myself in your pants.

those are just a few!!!!

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.






She heard the train stop and her son saying,

"All of you sons of *****es who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of *****es who are getting on, get your asses on the train... cause we're going down the tracks.



"





The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house.Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS.When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language.



"



Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.







Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.






"She heard her little darling continue... "For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.



"





As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen.."

The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed by thy drink
They will be drunk (I will be drunk),
At home as in the tavern
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The better & the lager.

For ever and ever,

Bar men