I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Dear fellas,

I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work, I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello, but he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doin' okay and makin' new friends. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me.

P.S: Tell Heywood I'm sorry I put a knife to his throat. No hard feelings.

Erroneous

Mr. Robot

I saved a 7 year old girl from drowning a few years back.

I personally see no purpose of an online relationship if there's no chance of ever meeting.

People often are surprised by voice because they expect it to be gruff and biker like but it's actually mumbley and soft.

The Sadie Hawkins Day dance

Lucid

Professional hot dog eating champion

What kind?

That I want some chips.

Recreated the whole movie of Dirty Dancing with kittens for YouTube

I read the beginner's manual and I'm still baffled.

Professional Rubix Cube solver

You were gone seven years. Seven years I waited, hoping that you wouldn't come back. Every year, I took a holiday. I went to Florence, there's this cafe, on the banks of the Arno. Every fine evening, I'd sit there and order a Fernet Branca. I had this fantasy, that I would look across the tables and I'd see you there, with a wife and maybe a couple of kids. You wouldn't say anything to me, nor me to you. But we'd both know that you'd made it, that you were happy. I never wanted you to come back. I always knew there was nothing here for you, except pain and tragedy. And I wanted something more for you than that. I still do.

Decipher

Goodnight.


OT: invented celery

Mickey Mouse ears