LOL 4fun. I agree. NO TOE SUCKING ALLOWED!!!! EVER!!!!!

Man, you would think I was a blonde by not being able to spell blonde!!
Well I guess that is what happens when you are born that way (blonde).
HA HA HA HA

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for
speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her
window.

The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot
the driver was! Drop dead beautiful blonde... the works!

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'me.... could I see your drivers
license...?"

"...What's a license...???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away
the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer. After fumbling for
a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your
registration..." asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in
your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently.

After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a
minute..." said the cop and walked back to his car.

The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's
license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back;

"Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes...." replied the
officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher
"Uh... yes" replied the cop.

"Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back,
and drop your pants..."

"WHAT!!? I can't do that. Its..... inappropriate..." exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me..... just do it...." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration
and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down
and sighs..... "Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer......"

That is just plain wrong! I love it!!! LMAO

I'd pick the Panthers over the Niners anyday. The Pats are still better
then anyone. I know they are having a rough year but they'll snap out
of it and make it to the playoffs.

Okay, f**k the draft too.

I hate war! And I appologize if this offends anyone in here, but, Bush
is a BITCH! Send his ass over my way, I'll start my own war! Shooting
only him!

I have the pic that proves it! Lol

Ha! I love it.

I love a place you can dog the winers!! lol

Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the
toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device, but wanted to
know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and
exasperating study the researchers came to their conclusion as to the
origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented by
a redneck. Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by
the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was a
simple deduction, "If it was invented by anyone else, it would have been
called a teethbrush

Is that windex in your pocket? Cause' I could sure see myself in your
pants. LOL

LOL! I'm glad yall love it. And Redmange, stop wetting yourself!!!
Get some diapers for crying out loud!!

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in a row
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:


I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."


THIRD TESTIMONY:


My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY:


While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when
the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:


Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up,
yanked down his pants,
bent over,
spread his cheeks
and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laug h they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:


This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember
we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak

The niners suck just thought you should know!!!! HAHAHA