You never let go. You never get over it. You never forget. I lost both my parents. My dad died in '93 (I was 24) and my mom died in '95. It was bad when my dad died, but I had my mom to lean on then, thank goodness, but when she was gone, I had noone to help me cope...noone. I have family, but they werent helpful at all, as they were grieving too, which you think wouldve helped, but it didnt. I miss my mom practically everyday, but I CAN tell you, the pain lessens a little as time goes on; it never goes away, but it lessens and you'll always miss her. The best advice I can think of, is try to go to bereavement counseling or counseling in general; talk to someone, cause talking about it does help, either in group counseling or one on one, whichever makes you more comfortable. And let your emotions out; cry whenever you need to cause that helps too. You can even join an online group. Theres a site called Daily Strength. Wonderful ppl are on there. They even have private chat. Hope this helps A LITTLE. Hang in there. Youre by no means alone.

Oh its been driving me nuts. When my brother was apparently diagnosed, I was like 'wow', but it all made sense, fit him like a glove, but me? No way! I even worked with a girl, was her assistant, and found out she had bipolar. I was like oh ****, but she never REALLY took it out on me. I was lucky, cause she HAS had episodes at work, but it was before I got there. This was all before I knew I had it, if I have it. I thought I just needed anger management or something; had NO idea my counselor was gonna say Im bp. Now I cant get it out of my head sometimes. I wish I knew WHEN I got it, WHEN it started, not just when I was diagnosed. I think it started back when my mom died in '95. I had a job at the time and kept it for 2 yrs after so I kept busy and my mind occupied, but when I left that job in '97, thats when the bad depression kicked in. All I did all day then was think about her and how I miss her, so on top of all that, I self medicated myself with 3 bottles of wine a day and smoked a lot of pot...a lot, gained weight and went downhill, couldnt hold a job, nothing. I sure hope my new psy says Im just depressed and not bp, but if I am, I shall deal with it. How can we find out though WHEN we got it or WHEN it started; anyone know?

thanks a lot for your help. I apprec it.

Im bipolar apparently, was diagnosed as having a mild case on Val Day this year, but Im not sure if I was diag right. Im not in denial, I just think Im more depressed than ne thing. I carry more signs of the depressive site than the manic, but I also know that not all ppl carry all the symptoms. Whenever I get a chance to go see my new psychiatrist, Ill have her rediagnose me and if she also says Im bp, then ok. My brother is apparently bipolar also. I have a good question for everyone: is there a way to know HOW LONG youve had it? I may have been diagosed with it on Val Day, but that doesnt say HOW LONG Ive suffered with it. The main thing I have to watch out for is when something frustrates me and/or I get impatient cause thats when I can get a real short temper. Plus when I get like that I tend to talk to ppl, depending on who it is, like theyre stupid. For ex, if Im saying something and they dont hear me, Ive been known to say it real sarcastically, sounding as if theyre dumb or something and I hate when I get like that. Its as if the emotion just takes over and I have no control. Im not on ne meds. Was on Depakote ER. It worked in the very beginning, but my dose was too high, so it got lowered n felt like I was taking a vitamin, so I stopped it. My counselor will love to hear that when I see her . Hopefully this will all be resolved soon and I can work on getting better. Thanks for reading.

Oh really? How does that work? Theres someone Id like to talk to and would love to chat with her on here. How do I enable it on my end and how do I know if she has it?

Well, Im new here too and this is my 1st time in forums. I agree partly with lljojoll, but I wish there were more free sites out there so ppl can look and talk to others for free. I mean, why not? A lot of those that want money are scams ne way and are just a tease. As far as this site goes, Im glad its free, but I wish you could IM someone if u wanna talk to them and also know wen they were on last. I hate sending a message to someone not knowing how long its been since theyre last visit. They couldve been on a year ago n Im none the wiser, so yeah, this site could use improvement. Nothing wrong with criticism.