How do you define your life? If you would put up a list of five significant events that shaped you behaviorally, what would they include? To be more specific, what are you a product of, historically? If I would enlist mine I think we can have a great starting point:

1. Lack of parental affection from childhood
2. Strife for financial independence through educational career
3. Obsession with culture's unending standards

Lets leave the list with 3.

I am going to explain from my experience and I hope you can trace trends that built you up thus far; possibly to reflect, analyse and act on trends currently shaping you so that you can avoid some redundancy.

Everything that you've been thought or learned add a little bit to how you reason about yourself and others around you. If you've ever questioned your relationship with people and wish it would be different, it means you have actively contributed to how your relaionship works in the way it does. Not physically contributing relationally also speaks a lot in iteself about you. There is nothing you could possibly do that will not generate some results that affects you or someone. If you leave you bed undone in the morning, a guest in your house might tag you as disorganised, busy or lazy individual. In addition to your undone bed, if you've left a breakfast dish unwashed on the table, the guest will be more informed to your standards - regardless of how great you thought of yourself.

At some point I realised that relationships are a process and this helps me think of getting into relationshp differently. Married couples are also in a process of unlearning (or learning) what they knew individually which could be a great learning process especially if a partner is dominant the balance is said to be loaded with self-centredness, just as as the case with my parents. Those separated or divorced are also leanrning perhaps what could have been done earlier in the chain of processes leading to their status, that could contribute to sustenance instead of ending it.

So now you realiZe that the baggage we brought through experience into relationship are important in determining how we will end up relationally, because we are a product of history and events that caused us think and act how we do.
Now, how can a relationship work out clean and nice? Understanding from my father's dominance over my mother's ideas for the family, I will say reasoning alongside each other's thoughts and letting go to gain more as two people is lacking. For example, what happens if I think my thoughts are the best in driving a relationship with a girl, and if she thinks hers are the best too. We will both work hard to prove each other wrong. To do so, I will build a wall to protect the cons so that the beautiful outer part of my idea will be appealing and using it to reveal the cons with her idea. This is just one defense mechanism, there are lot more. Each time we prove the other partner wrong ideally the relationship is fading away quickly.

Not acknowledging the importance of a partner, regardless of the ideas he/she brings is a highway to losing integrity and something worthwhile to anticipate in the relationship. If my father could let my mother to take the lead in certain areas knowing that it will be bad, I believe that after the idea crashes she could say "he respects my idea and acknowledges me as a person", now this is love. Sometimes things don't have to be controlled to perfection, but the mistakes along the way are what build each other out and strengthens relationship. However we must be careful while using situations going wrong to strangthen relationships because if a partner fails to learn lesson out of the event, you can be assured that things will get lot worse.

Understanding the various events that shaped your partner into thinking how he/she acts and relate is crucial almost above all things in relationship. This is because past events leave scars in our thoughts and minds. We naturally grow sensitivity to those scars such that other upcoming life events are weighed by it. If not, why then partners after break up modify their standard when getting into new relationships - simple, they have learned something of value out of hurts and they can counter a possibility in the future by engineering events or guiding them to expected states. Since events are really crucial in our lives, and they do tell us what to think of our partners, the question now remains: how could our chances be facilitated of nurturing one another? A situation whereby two lovers came along with opposite scars will mean misunderstanding. Our sense of reasoning into situations act oppositely with wide range life events between people.

As you are here looking to get who is there to pick you as partner or whatever, be prepared that mr./mrs. right have their life events and they are coming into your life with the consequence of their experiences. Sum it up all, get to know who likes you, get to know their history and work out how they have been shaped in their thoughts -- I guarantee you that you can have a fantastic and memorable relationship if you understand reasoning perspective of your partner and relate accordingly because that is love to them in their thoughts.

thanks alot, its been paragraphed just now. I typed in office word with paragraphs but somehow after pasting here something went wrong.

You cannot just do without it, can you? Think of when you actually feel desperate for a hug or even a smile from someone that would mean more than comfort to you. Perhaps, say a smile that would mean affirmation that you aren't after all left alone to struggle for love; at least you are considered worthy of love somehow. Yet you don't just know if the smiler or hugger simply meant appreciation or something more.

You know something, but you don't know how you knew it. I wonder what you think of people on this web when they write you: "I love you". Words are power, however you may dare an exception on a special place where those words are ice breakers.

I don't know what "I love you" would mean to someone whom I met minutes ago on this site. The thing is we don't just trust others enough because we can't trust ourselves either. What we don't want other think of us are those same things we do to others. A lady might want a test of time to prove if a guy's flirting would mean more or just a beginning of yet another heart break. Of course we cannot be blamed for not knowing what we should know because we lack human contact via web. However, we can also initiate contact at the end if we can trust each other.

Here is the dilemma: can you trust anyone at all, especially knowing that you have not met them before? and maybe worst, their picture is not who they really are but someone else looking "more attractive" as a mean to buy you? Skepticism is a normal start, but if we keep it long enough and are skeptical of one another then we can be guaranteed we will leave single and empty as we came on this site. Still on trust, how can you know if the flirter is honest? From my experience over few months of joining this site, some people are honest and by exchanging few emails you can tell a little of their intentions. People are here for different reasons - some are here to find true love and they are honest about it. Some are here looking for a shoulder to lean on, a sense of acceptance and love. The needs are different with each of us, but love is not simply romance or sex. Love is also identifying with what the other person is passing through and becoming relevant in the season of their life.
It is about being honest when people need healing. Will you call it a great day if you comfort a user on this site with needs that are enormous and emotionally demanding? Do you really care what people are passing through or do you assume each person here is doing fine and looking forward to romance, sex or relationship? You might conclude that this is not a place of comforting or being a friend ready to help others in their pain -- but if you don't. it might mean you actually have distorted perspective of true love.

If we should love, we should do so selflessly. We should see the psychological need and the emotional state of each other. At the end if supposedly you got someone on this site, and hopefully you will because I care , you will sure face times you should give in beyond romance. People always are needful emotionally, psychologically or otherwise. And if we don't have what it takes to reason with each other through those realities, then we are building our foundations on sand. It will collapse and all your investment gone. Our abilities to understand one another relationally and trust with patience is significant part of loving. Let's care and love, only then we will be stronger and learn better.

any girl around to be friend with and get to know each other in real sense?

of course getting naked with someone you are in love is okay; e.g. couples get naked and its perfect - what I meant was if people would be naked to the world disregarding morals - that is if being moral in itself is rational.

African - living near Landsbegr am Lech, looking for a girl,

They walk down holding hands tight
They walk down gracefully the steep hills
Their arousal was the smell of ending fall
Brown leaves squashing beneath their sole - their music
The bees celebrating their queen's reproducing - their future
The birds hopping on branches, indecisive of nesting - their insecurity

He is gentle with nature's gift,with chaotic wether and animals - insightful
She is tolerable with natures's unbalance - deep
They are imperfect yet complementary
Came nigh them a horse
Ridden by the perfecter - the bridge of them all

She looks at him starting from down up
He has fixed eyes on her, steady and reassuring
Happy ride was for both - present for each other's journey
Journey on smooth path
Journey with unequal gallop

What more my love, what more?...
Offense is silver we will brush with gold - understanding
Sad days are ore we will refine - perfection
Happy days we will celebrate - they are brushed golds and perfected ores

We shall get old and hold fast
Future: the uncertain present
But this is the journey
Our journey to be

Very often we hear the word "moral" and we know by definition it is subjective - simply because you and I have been shaped differently by culture, society, people, experience and religion. Well then to start off, lets leave the argumented atmosphere open for opinions.
However, one gets skeptical or even judged being in a place such as this website; thinking "am I suppose to find real love on a website", yet feelings are just as real and we want to avoid rejection or heart break in our quest for relationship, love or simply friendship.

Suppose you tried really hard for acceptance to someone you love, what reaction or attitude will you put on if your efforts were frustrating? I would personally go with "modification". My approach will change, but still I intend to get what I want (in this case getting loved). Does change in method affects morality in this case? We can see that while the need is valid and unchanged, there is a step up from my side in the "how".

Lets go further analyzing the root of this modification. What I believe to be true about my first method was tailored to meet my supposed lover in guiding him/her to correspond with my feeling, which might have been affected with what I consider important while doing so, such as not hurting, insulting or hateful but being friendly, caring, descent perhaps, and so on. Well these are already a list of things that shape your morals because you are dancing to those tunes and avoiding breaking them.

Assuming our first method is a failure then what next? Ahhh now we can be critical in meeting the person's dearest needs by re-thinking ignored areas or trends that we should consider next. And if turns out that romance is a need, how would you deal with romance knowing it violates your belief? Say you believe romance should be in marriage context but to marry that person first there is a need for romance? We can go this logic on and on, and at certain point you will notice a trend that violates you or one you dodge sharply.

Now what can we say about morality? Can we suspend our moral parts in pursuit of someone we love or could we rather have our moralities more actively playing? Can YOU slightly change your morals to match your lover's needs or are you going to let go and lose your love? Can you abstain to match your love? Or can you do anything to gain your lover?

Our answers might be clearer if we deconstruct morality to its various components. I cannot make your list because we are just different :) But if you get your list ready, would you cross off which of those components such as "kiss", "nudity", "sex", "romance", etc will violate your morality? And if you have them on a scale of 1 to 5, can you estimate your values because it will make you understand your limits in entering a relationship and your strength as well.

However, that was an example of morality according to your standard, but we know there are beliefs with fixed moral lines mmmmh, I think for once that my personal morality is contradicting with my religion's, long story going about fixing it. However insightful you are, there are just certain part of you that want to contend with your morality and you might get thrown over the lines some how, but a website like this consist of real people with varieties of moral limits. Your freedom is what you consider valid in serving you without offending YOURSELF. But it could offend someone simply by exercising them.

There are though general guiding principles that are universal which many of us would find acceptable. One is respect for your body or your privacy, awww. If you will hesitate to upload a naked picture of yourself to the web, then it means your sense of morality is average. Why wouldn't you upload your naked self on the web? Perhaps you will be seen naked by people you might never meet. Then why worry about it? since no one will see you in real life? Well, you simply consider that nudity is not good enough in public places. You have to ask your extent of morality at this level, it is an "integrity" creating barrier. Its a barrier but the good type, right? So how about respecting the morality of your opponent who would post their naked pictures on the web? Would you rather shun it or reason "deviations" from standard morality. Now what is standard reference on morality -- hussh I guess none, but at the end we all seem to agree on certain aspect of life however different we are.