A guy went to the Post Office to apply for a job.



The interviewer asked him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

He replied, 'Yes - caffeine.'

'Have you ever been in the military service?'

'Yes,' he replied. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'



The interviewer said, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.'

Then he asked,'Are you disabled in any way?'

The guy said, 'Yes....an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.'


The interviewer grimaced and then said,'O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M.

You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day.'


The guy was puzzled and asks, 'If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me here until 10:00 A.M.?'



'This is a government job,' the interviewer said. 'For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'

Funny your profile says "atheist" but your post is "god help me please".

Where you are headed in The Military, God is what you should be seeking, not girls.

Security Clearance (NEED TO KNOW)



Question: What is America 's first line of missile interceptor defense that protects the entire United States ?

Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard.

Question: What is the ONLY National Guard unit on permanent active duty?

Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard

Question: Who is the Commander in Chief of the 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard?

Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

Question: What U.S. governor is routinely briefed on highly classified military issues, homeland security, and counter terrorism?

Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

Question: What U.S. governor has a higher classified security rating than either candidate of the Democrat Party?

Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

According to the Washington Post, she first met with McCain in February, but nobody ever found out. This is a woman used to keeping secrets. She can be entrusted with our national security, because she already is.

Now you know too, please, pass it on!

NEVER take advice from anyone here...

My Account>Edit Profile

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer
and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came
over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"
I took a drink from my can of Busch Lite, wiped the cold foam from my
lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly into
the eyes of this nosy azz neighbor and then calmly replied,



"I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

I want to go in a boxcar like Boxcar Willie:)

To enhance the natural beauty of a Lady like you:)

COUGAR! THAT'S IT!!

Are you one? Do you purr? Do you have sharp claws?

You don't have to answer here, send me an e-mail;)

You are very pretty:)

THATS what I am trying to find out I guess:)

1. Are these people real?

2. WHEN are they going to ask me for money?

Hi, that is sooo ..nice.

Do you pronunce that EL-i-noi-E, or Ill-i-noise?

How nice! Somehow I believe you:)

Proper is:

Huh? SIR!

I have no arms, hence no hands.

Could you please assist me with that?

I am not an impatient person, just new and a little unsteady in some areas right now:)

That's where I just came from:(

Yes?

Er... I mean NO!

NOT my type, so sorry.

Just my luck. Irish? You have so pretty eyes!

Are you one of those cats?

I believe they are some sort of wildcat.