imagine how many theoretical view points I have studied by now
from Freud to Jung to Erikson, Piaget, Carl Rogers, Skinner Rational emotive Gestalt CBT Behavioral Solution Focused System Choice/Reality psychoanalytic Adlerian Transactional Analysis not sure if it's a lacking somewhere in my education.. but none specifically deal with this concept of change but who knows..I am taking an addictions class this fall for an elective maybe I will learn something new |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Fri 08/04/17 12:57 PM
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mmmm..it is more like I am a walking contradicition on this one
something I was not really aware of on the surface level I believe anyone is capable of change my logical brain accepts this as truth but yet..there are many who cannot do it or is it will not.. that is the question is it specifically about being addicted mmmm...the conversation spurred the thread topic because in my mind there seems to be a division line those who can change those who cannot wonder how much of this is based on my experiences clouding my judgement the thread is about change are we all capable of it what makes one succeed while another fails yes this is a topic close to my heart but you can discuss it from a philosophical or academic point of view and it can be about anything or anyone you know that has made some definite and lasting changes in their life |
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gotta go make lunch for hungry kiddos
but will certainly check in later and contemplate all responses I appreciate the input |
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bring it back from specifics to generatlizing
what is change what is involved in making it stick? |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Fri 08/04/17 08:46 AM
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ya know when you hear someone say
oh a psych major? did you go into it to figure out why you are so screwed up? hahahaa..there's more than one grain of truth in that father was an alcoholic but folks divorced when I was five mom on other hand, was bi-polar so my brother and I grew up with someone who was either up and happy " get in car kids we're going shopping" or up and angry " get down on your knees with this toothbrush and clean that better" or down in dumps sad lighting candles and drinking beer dad we would see couple times a year but he was getting arrested for DUI's and going to court, lost many jobs along way and he was an educated man with two degrees so brother and I one year apart in age raised in same environment he chose to drink. I didn't his reasoning? it's in our genes why fight it my reasoning? it's in our genes fight like a mutha fuka |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Fri 08/04/17 08:26 AM
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I think some are more suseptible to it at a physiological level
9 out 10 people can have a drink and be perfectly fine with it walk away whenever they want to but the 1 out 10? it affects them at a different level I think in beginning? yes, they had capability perhaps to walk away from it but I think for these..few all things in moderation just does not work somewhere along the line this became their coping mechanism of choice and no amount of pressure from loved ones was enough for them to change it is a physiological response in the body and in the brain that most do not have |
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I appreciate your honesty
<<< daughter of an alcoholic sister of one ..both deceased both drank til the day they died now since I realize this gene runs in family I CHOOSE not to partake but...because I have had a close relationship with two people that did not walk away from it has this clouded my vision so to speak my belief on whether I think anyone is capable of change true change see why I asked this question? |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Fri 08/04/17 07:58 AM
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say you start drinking as a teenager your folks try to get you to quit do an intervention say you go to a in house treatment program for youth you come out of it you are good for awhile stuff happens in your life you turn to booze once again as a means of coping a girlfriend, co worker, boss, family member talks you into rehab again it sticks for awhile you backslide you repeat this pattern for a good portion of your life now family members, significant others, friends have formed an opinion on you and your ability to change I understand what you're saying, and have seen this happen many times. Part of the dilemma is that Alcoholism is difficult for others to see as a disease that may or may not be in remission. Understandably so because this particularly disease causes so much discord in everyone's lives because of the behaviors that go with it. When someone has a different type of disease, like cancer....we feel bad for them if it goes out of remission. And alcoholic goes out of remission, the general attitude is, "Oh God, here we go again!" Not fair, but reality. |
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as I said..this is mostly for me to do a checks/balances on what it is I really believe..hold myself up to the light so to speak
something I do from time to time |
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how important is it to have a support system?
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Fri 08/04/17 07:41 AM
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say you start drinking as a teenager
your folks try to get you to quit do an intervention say you go to a in house treatment program for youth you come out of it you are good for awhile stuff happens in your life you turn to booze once again as a means of coping a girlfriend, co worker, boss, family member talks you into rehab again it sticks for awhile you backslide you repeat this pattern for a good portion of your life now family members, significant others, friends have formed an opinion on you and your ability to change |
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but yet it got me thinking..questioning are their certain circumstances where my core belief is that this person is incapable of change? rapist child molester someone who is violent someone who has been diagnosed with a personality disorder.. like Narcissist Besides narcissist, I don't think the others you mentioned aren't part of the personality. Those are pathological diseases. I don't believe a child molester is born that way like being selfish or vain. |
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noooo..in fact, I know the stats on success with any substance abuse group is not great.. not pointing a finger at AA being the end all just know that there are very few alcoholics that walk away from the bottle for good the ones that do? are exceptional individuals Not interested in stats, if just one persons life is changed by others believing in them then that is a good thing. Some will change some won't. This applies to your list to. Stats are only for government departments. I am not against group therapy sorry if it came across that way some will change, some won't is exactly my point |
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no right or wrong answer on this one people
just open to consider other points of view to do a check on my own |
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but yet it got me thinking..questioning
are their certain circumstances where my core belief is that this person is incapable of change? rapist child molester someone who is violent someone who has been diagnosed with a personality disorder.. like Narcissist |
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noooo..in fact, I know the stats on success with any substance abuse group is not great..
not pointing a finger at AA being the end all just know that there are very few alcoholics that walk away from the bottle for good the ones that do? are exceptional individuals |
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I have always been a big proponent of choice anyone and everyone has a choice each day on who it is they decide to be but other day I ran smack dab into a conversation which made me reconsider this.. guy starts messages me and we chit chat for a bit he mentions he used to drink....heavily he's been sober for three years now but when I ask if he goes to meetings he said no not anymore.. I found myself thinking...hmmmm...you gonna backslide just a matter of time That's usually what happens, but not always. It depends on whether they are using another means of recovery or spiritual program. For me personally, the 12 step recovery program works best in my life. But for my Aunt, who remained sober for years and was a beautiful person, church worked for her. But I agree that if they are not doing anything other than just not drinking....chances are very high that they will pick up again. I walked away..and spent the rest of the day considering my own beliefs on this matter.. |
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I have always been a big proponent of choice
anyone and everyone has a choice each day on who it is they decide to be but other day I ran smack dab into a conversation which made me reconsider this.. guy starts messages me and we chit chat for a bit he mentions he used to drink....heavily he's been sober for three years now but when I ask if he goes to meetings he said no not anymore.. I found myself thinking...hmmmm...you gonna backslide just a matter of time |
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mmmmm...I agree on the free will part you cannot point finger blame at someone and say " you need to do _________ and I would be happy" If 'love' has conditions then it's not Love, it's its ugly cousin Manipulation. amazing how many people that love each other come with all these kind of conditions when it comes to living together |
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my brother would have argued that who you are is who you are..it does not change
who you are at 15 is who you are at 30 and who you still are at 50 meaning the basic parts of your personality remain constant |
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