Time, much like a crystal clear river allows reflection
On the good and the bad
Sleepless nights more frequent now
The darkness has come alive
Thoughts dance endlessly it seems.
Shards of life have pelted me,
They've fallen in a jumbled heap
Tears see a chance to fall
But they are not un-noticed
Not anymore...
I know the number to friendship
One real and true
He's never left me in the dark
And smiles cannot be helped
Some may think he's weird
Others swear he's completely wacked
Our inside jokes will probably never die..
He's a friend I thought I'd never find
The only shrink I'd ever pay
Mushy is not really my thing anymore
But this isn't about just anyone
He's my best buddy by day
Most of the time shrink by night
He's Fatman
I'll have his back come what may




This was written for my friend Donnie I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and it seems no matter how many lunatics and/or broken hearts I accumulate he's always there to make me smile or in some cases see things a bit differently. My disability used to get to me but that's no more he loves me for me spazz and all plus hes the only one who will listen to me cry no matter what time it is i'm counting my blessings because things seem to be falling apart and he is a big one. Buddy if ya read this im sorry to get all mushy on ya I just wanted to say thanks for being there as scared as I am about the whole two best friends being deployed I know someone has my back so it'll be okay

ugh mom how am i supposed to use somethin that goes boom if no one gets hurt lol

only if i can have something that goes BOOM with the push of a button cause i cant do much =P

very very true

well thats a bummer

Whatcha sore for?

sounds better than my day lol

Mine was peachy I suppose a bit frustrating Jess is STILL in the hospital undergoing tests they released him last night only to bring him back at 6 this morning UGH doctors! I went out and bought him a giant teddy bear :D and lord knows I had plenty to do to keep my mind off it, people amaze me sometimes there are two others besides my dad and I under this roof yet nothing gets done unless he or I do it my brother uses the argument "But dad i'm almost 19..." ALL the time it's frustrating because he and my sister can do everything but help out! ah well what can ya do?


How has today been for the rest of you?

It's almost time to say goodbye
There is a job that must be done
Fear drones quietly in the background
Little bits of dread taint each sunrise
Tiny shards of bravery are found here and there
Still nothing quells the sick feeling
Someone stop the hands of time...
I cannot stand to watch him go
Big brother I need you,
A monster still lingers
No not in the closet
But in the shadows,
Most call it uncertainty
It howls in the moonlight
It will not tell me if I can have you back
Tears keep falling
How do I make them stop?
Big brother I'm lost, please hold my hand
Tell them you cannot go, somehow make them understand
Poetic lullabies no longer play
That warm fuzzy feeling has gone away
Yes, I know we must be brave
Big brother this time I cannot be
You will be in every thought and prayer
Letters will be sent every day
Big brother please be careful
I need you to come home
You are forever my hero

First of all i want to thank all of you for all the prayers for Jesse and the support you guys have shown me whenever I'm freaked out...a girl couldn't ask for better friends =) as I'm sure you can guess by the title there's good news and bad news the good news is Jess is home from the hospital the bad news is the doctors still want to run a bunch of tests because they still have no idea what led to him being sick. At this point im pretty much still a wreck but at least hes home so it probably isn't life-threatening last night was long and sleepless but it'll get better i'll keep you updated as more info comes around i told him he was in all of our thoughts and prayers and he told me to pass along his thanks

I guess since there's nothing i can do to make Jess better I might as well go try to rest if you guys could remember him in your prayers tonight that'd be wonderful you guys are awesome friends I love yall to death

i didnt even do anything to her

thats because she doesnt know wtf shes talking about n i wish she'd go away ugh! but i do appreciate all of u who do care

im just sick of her and others like her

im SO close to leaving this site its not funny and scarlett you can stop being a heartless ***** anytime now

nah teddy its ok i probably shouldnt have posted it im just really upset and scared

im sorry but what exactly is funny?

So today DID NOT go as planned it started off awesome but then jess (the one i posted about the other night) started feeling extremely extremely sick he was taken to the hospital and they wanna keep him overnight nobody knows what's going on right now but he means A LOT to me and im a nervous wreck UGH sorry needed to let it out i feel kinda alone and scared and sleep is sooo not happening tonight

thank you guys

thanks mom ugh i hate bein the center of attention though lol i love u though mom