18 (21 if you want to drink) to 100 if they can still play

where's that girl that just wanted to throw down

Love these kinds of stories

what a Knight

I miss peeping

I have 478
functional incremental hardware

with compatable digital options 840

for systematized reciprocal scenarios 235

He said Fvck

would enjoy what we had, but i'm sure i'd want to F@ck

Morning justme, I am leaving for a while, I have much to do today, just wanted to say that is a pretty dog, but you are a beauty yourself,

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
exactly

It's DEPRESSION


See you DOCTOR


choose your doctor and or a shrink carefully, some are full of ****

Hello

celtickitten

Justme

arcadefan

It can hurt, but it is normal, best of luck

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting louldy every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that is was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes. After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, Honey, you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.

What do you mean, asked his wife.

Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened ,But by the grace of God, some vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up bis butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparant reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy asked the second, "why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you would have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy walkin in with pineapples."

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses'but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him, he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way, pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle, that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, It was your first time to have a tooth pulled.



Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin?